Help. I need to make dinner tonight. Something that doesn't take longer than hour and something

[Pat Vegas]

Where I don't have to buy loads of different ingredients.

Italian dishes are out of the question.

If I get home quickly I can watch an old episode of Ready steady c**t on challenge and copy what they do.

[Luis Anaconda]

[Pat Vegas]

[Berni]

But then I thought: "Oh ****. It's all bound to go wrong when Warne comes on, though."

Then I remembered he's been retired for nearly a decade :cloud9:

[Curly]

And save time by purchasing at a local charlie ching chang chongs :thumbup:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

You want nice sirloin steaks, about an inch thick. Heat your frying pan until it's smoking, brush the steaks with vegetable oil, season well and lay in the pan. DON'T TOUCH THEM for 2 minutes. Turn, cook for another 2 minutes, remove and rest them somewhere warm.

Meanwhile, cook the chips at 130 degrees for 8 minutes, remove and allow to cool, then, while the steaks are resting, finish them at 190 degrees for 5 minutes.

Take 2 field mushrooms and remove the stalks and the gills. Make a stuffing of crushed garlic, breadcrumbs and dried herbs; a 'herbes de Provence' mixture works well. Lay a knob of butter on top and bake in the oven for 15 minues.

I will assume you know how to boil some frozen petits pois.

A sauce bearnaise would be nice.

[Berni]

tray. Prick the duck legs with a fork all over to let the fat run out. Rub with salt and pepper. Place on a wire rack over the potatoes and place in a medium hot oven. Leave for about an hour and you have dinner. Piece of piss.

[Pat Vegas]

[Luis Anaconda]

chatting to an Aussie in the pub last night - frightening how thing there batting options are. If they are to drop Clarke it would have to be Shaun Marsh or Watson back in. No real depth back at home either

[Berni]

Go with my duck option. It's low-hassle, delish and will impress.

[Ashberto]

[Supermac1976]

[Pat Vegas]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Always a winner.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Pat Vegas]

It's not really that forbidden.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

That and the pig's trotter and pork knuckle stock.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

boil, tipping this water away, then starting again with cold water. The peas then take 4 or 5 hours to cook.

Perhaps if you soak overnight the soup would be ready earlier, but then you would have less time for the stock to become flavourful.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I'm never doing that again.

[Berni]

f**k knows why.

[Berni]

Didn't really get it myself.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It was magnificent. Just one mouthful, but a magnificent one.

[Berni]

It's not a thing I have to worry about, of course, but I'm sure you'll carry it off with verve and elan.

Have you considered brushing your hair forward from the back?

[Pat Vegas]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Trixie Popsicle]

[Ashberto]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

A stock / jam mash up sort of thing.

[Berni]

Needless to say, he looked f**king ridiculous and you couldn't concentrate on a word he was saying because you were looking at the hames he'd made of the top of his head. :hehe:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Or you can used potato. Or potato starch. Or cornflour. Or you could, I suppose, use some buerre manie.

[Berni]

I usually reduce some stock, red wine, port and pureed cherries/blackberries/raspberries/whatever. However, you could use jam, I suppose. If the sweetness wasn't too off-putting.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Or whatever's in the fridge, to be honest.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

My own opinion is that once a chap finds himself having arrived at this point the only option is to more or less remove everything, doing natures work for it.

Less Duncan Goodhew of course but more a damned tight number 0 all over.

[Pat Vegas]

But your plan is good.

You'll be glad to hear I have Waitrose nearby.

[Berni]

I suspect, for instance, that I would look absolutely ridicules with no hair. I pray it never arises.

This is your man, sw.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I can't be arsed.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Takes f**king hours, obviously.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Berni]

Talking of sheep, there were celebrity sheepdog trials on telly last night. It was odd.

[Berni]

And if, as he claims, the babes really are back, I can only assume these babes are both blind and mentally handicapped.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

shop-bought mince is the key.

I'm sorry to have missed that; I heard an advertisement for it a few weeks ago, and having just read this, was intrigued to see it.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Shepherds-Life-Tale-District/dp/ 1846148545 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Shepherds-Life-Tale-District/dp/1846148545)