How come Monty has this knack of making everything sound...

[Pat Vegas]

well to be honest a bit gay.

he's made being a father sound gay.
communal garden sounds gay
and his cat 'I have never panicked so much in my life' 'weakened immune system '

Nothing wrong with gays by the way.

[Berni]

[Pat Vegas]

putting more money than really needed on the pay and display.

and always looking at the fuel gauge.

[Berni]

[Pat Vegas]

look at the pump.Or think I have forgotten to put the petrol cap back on.

When I first got the car I was paranoid as I when I used to fill it up at the Shell station near me the car would feel all shakey when I left the petrol station.

Turns out the road surface is to blame outside the petrol station :-(

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]