If I'm on my own in the house, knowing nobody's going to be around, I will still lock the bathroom

[Berni]

door when going to the lavatory. I simply couldn't relax otherwise. Is this unusual?

[Jake]

Is this unusual?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Unfortunately, I am forced to keep the door open to allow cats ingress and egress; particularly b, who likes to sit on my lap during the act of voidance. :-(

[the splendor of antigone]

[Classic Jorge]

You're still going to get a kebab and flay your chap to a nubbin though, yeah?

[redgunamo]

[Monty91]

decide which course of action to take.

Indeed, it would also prevent them stealing anything from your bathroom, should you wish to sit tight and wait for the bad men to go away.

[Monty91]

This is absolutely the most transgressive thing anyone's ever admitted to on Awimb

[the splendor of antigone]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

My cat Bertie.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Your missus must think you are ****ing.

[Berni]

your faecal/feline shenanigans.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Sometimes he is content to curl up in the pant hammock.

[Monty91]

with matters of privacy and security.

I doubt he even has a door for his bathroom.

[PSRB]

is growing a bit tiresome

The throne should be a place of rest and relaxation for 20 minutes

[Billy Goat Sverige]

[Berni]

[redgunamo]

I have an excuse, my lot are all foreign.

[Berni]

other than by main force. This meant he became a regular witness to my defecation. I never really liked it, tbh. It felt wrong. :-(

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

So on that assumption you would lock the door when your missus is in the house, which is weird.

[Berni]

You don't mean you and your wife perform your bodily functions in front of one another, do you? :puke:

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

One person admits something slightly f**ked up and the rest come out of the woodwork with even weirder ****.

Your f**king cat licks your leg when you’re pushing one out. Jesus f**king Christ.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

A simple but obvious sign to one and all that the ****ter is occupied.

No need for locks to be used.

[Berni]

[the splendor of antigone]

Absolute for you"
- Winston Churchill, in Life Magazine 1962 (October edition)

[Berni]

Just lock the door and all shall be well.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Billy Goat Sverige]

And she comes in, makes a little purring sound, and then starts to lick my leg. I dare not move to kick her away mid push for fear of the little bit I pushed out going back in.

Ftr, I'm usually quite regular and very rarely struggle with constipation.

[Classic Jorge]

Look how disappointed he is
http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-620/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/5/7/1431011877914/William-Hague-resigns-as--007.jpg

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

some vegetables to your diet.

No. Not more potatoes. The green things on the side of the plate that you scrape into the bin.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Another scenario is you have let one go and found yourself with only 2 perhaps 3 sheets at your disposal, so you have that unseemly ‘waddle’ from main bathroom to the en-suite with your kecks around your ankle. Last f**king thing you want to be doing is messing about with locked doors.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

And you effectively pretend to be struggling, like a beacon call for the cat to rush upstairs.

Pervert.


:judge:

[Billy Goat Sverige]

That's the first and last time I ever let a cat lick my *******s.














































Joking obviously.

[Monty91]

The best is when I get home from swimming and he licks the chlorine off of me.

[the splendor of antigone]

[redgunamo]

[redgunamo]

[redgunamo]

[the splendor of antigone]

[redgunamo]

Oh, I see what you mean. Sorry :homer:

[ITSUPFORGRABSNOW]

It can be difficult getting them to get out too.

[The Rob2]