Gentlemen. Let's discuss dinner wear to ensure we're all on freek with this ****.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

'Black tie' is the simplest of all dress codes.

One wears a dinner suit.
One wears a black bow tie, which one ties oneself (or has a grown up do it for one is one is a f**kING RETARD)
One wears a white dress shirt with a collar. A proper collar.
One wears black patent shoes.

That's it. No tartan bow ties. No ordinary ties. No, God forbid, matching red bow tie and cummerbund combos. All these things merely identify one as a c**t and possible sex criminal.

Just behave.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Some claim this is to catch dropped soup.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[PSRB]

it's appropriate to kick back and remove the bow tie - FACT

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

What do you wear for dinner, then? You don't wear tails during the week any more, surely? We're all much more informal these days, I thought?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

[Billy Goat Sverige]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

If it is particularly fancy I swap Adidas for desert boots.

This is modern Ireland mate, not a gentleman's club in St James.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Jeans. At dinner.

Whatever next?

[Jake]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

You can't go around half naked, man!

[Berni]

I used to have a dozen or so on the go. Now I only need two or three, really, so rarely do I wear one.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Would you wear a clip on tie?

http://www.denbigharmysurplus.co.uk/army-stores/clipontie002.jpg

[PSRB]

[Berni]

think I've forgotten how to do them up. :hide:

[PSRB]

http://sararonline.com/images/P/Black-Silk-Bow-Tie-312P.jpg

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

My God... you don't wear slip on shoes, do you? :-(

[Berni]

combinations?

[Billy Goat Sverige]

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/20140131/4967583/frank-butcher-bow-tie-o.gif

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Brown.

[PSRB]

to mask the 1 tie, that I probably will wear twice in a year

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Bus driver?

[Berni]

http://alphahistory.com/nazigermany/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/brownshirts.jpg

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Swiss Cottage Branch.

[Berni]

By which I mean she worked there, too and (as far as her gammy leg would allow) was chucking herself at me and I, being 16, was far too horny to discriminate.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I emptied my *******s into 4 of the females, across all departments.

Fun while it lasted though I never really got on with the whole general public side of things.

[Berni]

Just so you understand, her leg wasn't really, really gammy. It wasn't withered or anything. Just the foot was a bit turned in for some reason that I never bothered to find out. She was quite pretty other than that (although I'd have stuck it in a gap in the fence at that time, if I'm honest).

I just don't want you going away with the impression that I prey on cripples.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Work with me here.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Fair enough.

[Jake]

http://is4.revolveclothing.com/images/p/fw/z/ACNE-MO42_V2.jpg

[Berni]

I'm not coming out of this story very well, am I? :-(

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Dirty *******.

[PSRB]

I'm sure the swelling went down but wasn't waiting around to find out

[Berni]

And Isaias had just handed us our arses against Benfica, so it was a combination of factors, really.

[Berni]

Mind you, I've been thinking lately how handy it would be to be hitched to a disabled. Think of the parking spaces! :cloud9:

[Berni]

month or so later had changed to just being hooked and hag-like.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Well apart from one, from Gordon Hill as it happens which is not a million miles away from where you now reside.

I suspect you and PRSB were casting these chicks aside while teenagers when the single only reason to dump a chick is her refusal to allow you to put your hand up her jumper at very least.

The functionality of her legs or size of her nose would be utterly irrelevant.

[Berni]

would the willingness to let me sling it up her be the single most important factor in her desirability later in life. Certainly not.

[Berni]

This Gordon Hill? :hehe:

http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276392/Article/images/25712223/9198391-large.jpg

[Classic Jorge]

I made the mistake of forgetting mine last time, you cannot find a black tie for buggery in most shops nowadays.

I ended up with one of those ****ty thin ones that look like a doctored school tie. I wasn't happy.