Watching Masterchef last night, I saw some Australian woman put what looked the nastiest dish on a

[Berni]

plate I've ever seen on that programme.

The madwoman had elected to put some lovely-looking scallops in a blender and then proceed to make a souffle out of them. Well, I say souffle, but it ended up looking like melting ice cream and, from what the panel of eaters were saying, smelling like a tramp's cock.

Not content with this, the loon had made a 'sauce' that - I think - contained cockles, but looked exactly like cat vomit.:hehe:

All in all, it was the most misbegotten Masterchef effort I've seen since that Irish chap had some sort of psychotic episode and tried to fry chips in butter.

[ITSUPFORGRABSNOW]

He really really wanted to.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Quite put me of.

[Berni]

I would have struggled even to taste it, I think.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05p621m/masterchef-ser ies-11-episode-8 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05p621m/masterchef-series-11-episode-8)

[Norn Iron]

Chopped up some onions & red peppers.

Added the chicken to a wok. Put in the onions and peppers. Added some Uncle Ben's curry sauce. I then added 'Straight to wok' noodles to the whole thing. I think this was a mistake. I really needed rice.

[Berni]

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

We will call this progress at least.

http://www.awimb.com/fudforum/index.php?t=tree&goto=4001 141&rid=173&S=f7a5ab0966a7766b219ffe7a4c63f553 (http://www.awimb.com/fudforum/index.php?t=tree&goto=4001141&rid=173&S=f7a5ab0966a7766b219ffe7a4c63f553)

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I want to know how she got it that wrong.

[PSRB]

[Berni]

in a bamboo steamer, which is mental, too.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

1) I suspect it is a frying pan and 2) surely a gift from a female relative or perhaps sexual conquest.

[Norn Iron]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

http://www.awimb.com/fudforum/index.php?t=tree&goto=3998 009&rid=173&S=f7a5ab0966a7766b219ffe7a4c63f553 (http://www.awimb.com/fudforum/index.php?t=tree&goto=3998009&rid=173&S=f7a5ab0966a7766b219ffe7a4c63f553)

[Berni]

No need to thank me. ;-)

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

It was the subtle singular grind of black pepper that made it all the same.

The dish was conceived however as I stared into the fridge and saw f**k all coming back at me while a hungry 6 and 8 year old banged the table behind me.

No amount of French language was going to help at the time.

[Berni]

I feel it makes you more rounded.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

There should never be any doubt about that.

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[ITSUPFORGRABSNOW]

Truly awful.