Bloody hell, there's a gunman in military fatigues on the loose in Norwich

[Classic Jorge]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/norwich-gunman-hunt-liv e-updates-5326181 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/norwich-gunman-hunt-live-updates-5326181)

[Witharby 2-3 weeks]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

He's just some carrot-cruncher who got over excited in the army surplus store.

[Classic Jorge]

[Classic Jorge]

[barrybueno]

It's actually quite nice (for an away match) and a night out. A sort of Croydon before it became a ****hole.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I think 'gun man' sort of suggests that he's in the business of shooting people.

If he's failed to find someone to shoot since 08:30 this morning, he's either blind or very picky.

[Berni]

It's enough to bring sod back from the grave.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Classic Jorge]

I don't like guns, seen to many of them, had too many pointed at me.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

And nobody likes having guns pointed at them. That's the point. The point is to be doing the pointing.

[Classic Jorge]

After you're looking down the ****ty end of one the whole 'pew pew' element soon evaporates, as does any pride that may preclude you from ****ting your pants.

[Classic Jorge]

Too much power for someone to have imo. Especially with the whole 'people generally being c**ts' thing

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Brentwood]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Kneeling for your own execution in a snowy field in a socialist paradise was the least enjoyable occasion upon which I've had a gun held to my head, but the problem wasn't the gun so much as the c**t with the hammer and sickle on his hat holding the f**king thing.

[Classic Jorge]

No, real guns.

[Classic Jorge]

Similarly, armed coppers for me, on one occasion at least.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Issuing threats against Her Majesty is always going to get you into hot water, j. You should have realised that.

[Berni]

probably not going to unless you do something spectacularly stupid.

[Classic Jorge]

"WHERE'S THE BAG, WHERE'S THE BAG?!?!"

"what f**king bag, all I have is this!"

"HE'S ARMED, DROP THE WEAPON, DROP THE WEAPON, NOW, NOW, NOW!"

"it's a donner kebab!"

etc etc

[Luis Anaconda]

[Snin]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

You grow up in Northern Ireland in the 70s/80s and having a gun pointed in your general direction was a weekly occurrence.

Now dry your eyes and stop being a soft southern poof.

[Berni]

Oh, and I know I'm late to this, but your mum loves a bit of my well-hung beef.

[Snin]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Classic Jorge]

[Rich]

[Classic Jorge]

[Classic Jorge]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It's the memory of that day that stops me tangling with Nic.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

You would have seen soldiers with big f**k off guns most days of the week, it was 'normal'.

What was funny was when armed police "stormed" the B+B in Margate and hauled 3 of us off for questioning in 1994. I suspect they thought they had nabbed an actual active cell as opposed to 4 lads on a 1 night beano.

Not so funny when they marched us out of the hotel in front of all the other guests happily enjoyed the second B (which I never got in the end).

[Classic Jorge]

See? What I'm doing here is implying that the bag was my scrotal sack and, having imparted my sticky white goo all up in her poon, I had no further need for it.

[Rich]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Rich]

[Classic Jorge]

Nobody really took the whole decomposing steak bit though, did they?

Frankly I expected better from the Hawksmoor massiv

[Snin]

hanging out the back of her high 5'ing Richards gardener as she noshed him off..dirty auld slag

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It's f**king great.

[Classic Jorge]

[Snin]

[barrybueno]

afternoon some c**t burst into our printers and asked where the safe was. Luckily for me I'd had a 5 pint 'lunch' and thought it was one of the mechanics from next door having a laugh. Otherwise I would def have shat myself. :toilet:

[Classic Jorge]

It came off the back of another show, Lucky Louie, which bombed awfully.

It still has some really good stuff in it, mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9aqbhfYyqo

[Classic Jorge]

It's OK, we can talk about the ******* brits when this lot have gone, yeah?

[Berni]

professional who knows that, should he decide to pop you, he will have to deal with any amount of admin and other tedious **** than a stoned 16 year-old who's showing off to his mates.

[Berni]

I'm not really sure whether Malties are Greeks, Turks, Eyeties or what, tbh.

[Classic Jorge]

tbh, I found them both equally as scary, even the pissed up man in emotional distress in a ****ty pub in a pre-trendy hoxton.

I still shat myself every time. Though the four or five police guns magnified that by a factor.

[barrybueno]

need some details.

[Classic Jorge]

Like all people from those small mediterranean isles, it's a bit of a melting pot

[Classic Jorge]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Standing ******* naked in a B+B while they turned things upside down and asked me to bend over so they could look up my arsehole was fundamentally not cool.

Not cool at all.

[Snin]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Pics?

[Berni]

Spectacuarly well-meaning, but still highly offensive stuff.

wd everyone involved. :clap:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HHT_V294Co

[barrybueno]

wd JC :hehe:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

f**king fruitcake she was.

Big ladybumps, mind.

[Berni]

.................................................. .......... ................................................pl aywright?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Disgraceful.

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Now, pics?

[Classic Jorge]

[barrybueno]

an upper class Tory girl like Rich's piece would let a grubby working class Labour voter like J inside her.

Soz J :-)

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

"Dear c**t," she began, "I hope you die of cancer..."

The tone didn't improve from there.

[Rich]

Hydrosalpinx - fallopian tubes - infection. Womanly stuff, basically.

[Snin]

arse and assualted with..then when little rich comes round they can have some gently loving rubbish sex whilst she dreams about J and the gardener ripping her a new arsehole

[Rich]

[barrybueno]

[Snin]

basic hygiene like manners and politeness costs nothing Rich

[Berni]

It's all abusive texts and emails these days. Not the same at all.

I once got a letter from a girl I had rather led on for a couple of months and then just avoided rather than have to do the whole tiresome dumping business. After some tiresome stuff about her feelings and how she thought we had 'something special' she finished by saying how sorry she was that I would undoubtedly die alone and friendless. :hehe:

I wouldn't mind, but she got in touch with me on Linkedin a couple of years ago. She lectures on physiology in New Zealand and lives with five cats, so I reckon I'm ahead on points.

[barrybueno]

pinting comes first obviously.

[Classic Jorge]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I did not get my breakfast, not even a Police one.

Should have got a f**king refund.

[barrybueno]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

She might have meant 'Dear c**t, I hope you die of cancer in your old age after a long and fulfilling life...'