There appears to be a bloke at work who's job is solely to come up with new names for projects

[Pat Vegas]

or software and they are all crap.

I want this job.

[Berni]

[Pat Vegas]

As my life appears to move very fast now and I get all my stuff done at once. I will probably be due a early midlife crisis by next year.

[Berni]

[Pat Vegas]

then you have to talk to other dog owners.

[Berni]

f**king animals go absolutely mental. They remain totally oblivious to the effect that they and their dogs have on other people.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

In turn, their owners' houses smell of wet dog.

Why would one wish to live amongst the smell of wet dog?

[Pat Vegas]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Carry it in a bag and hope to find a public bin somewhere. f**k that.

[Ashberto]

And I say that as not-at-all-a dog-lover. Damned things want to eat me, half the time.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Clearly no one should be allowed to own a dog if they lack the land upon which the animal may take exercise.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

Fundamentally, dogs are scum. From the point of view of other animals, they are like the kapos in a human concentration camp, viciously aiding and abetting the subjugation of their fellow dumb creatures.

[Pokster]

[Billy Goat Sverige]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

We all suffer from teeth, barking and faeces to some degree. Some more than others, in fact. But even you don't smell of wet dog.

Although you did wear a jacket to football once...

[Norn Iron]

[Berni]

What the f**king hell is wrong with these people? You feel like stopping them and saying: 'You are aware you're walking around with a bag full of dog****, aren't you? Don't you think this might be considered somewhat aberrant behaviour?'

[Berni]

You're just grumpy because you've been driving a car with a red nose all day. :vsign:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Balls to them.

It's just taken me two hours to get back from High Wycombe. Two hours, for chrissakes.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

By my reckoning you're still picking it up.

[Luis Anaconda]

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Don't let the buggers into the garden, put them in a field, or, if you will, paddock.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Trixie Popsicle]