View Full Version : Last night I dreamt that James Corden and I were swimming across the Thames from the South Bank to
Berni
03-09-2015, 09:41 AM
St Paul's. He kept getting exhausted and panicking and I had to keep rescuing him, the great fat fool. Then we got across and I had to drag him onto the shore. He was utterly ungrateful.
All in all, he is my least favourite of all the celebrities I have encountered in my dreams. Keira Knightley is still the best.
Sir Charlie of Nicholas
03-09-2015, 09:48 AM
Berni
03-09-2015, 09:50 AM
I also mentioned a dream about Billy Bragg consulting me on whether he should jack the music in and become a web entrepreneur, I think.
But I've got no time for Corden. He f**king nearly drowned me, the lardy ****.
Sir Charlie of Nicholas
03-09-2015, 09:56 AM
James Corden and Billy Bragg. You don't half keep some strange company in bed.
I keep dreaming about my parents. I'm pretty sure they're trying to tell me something, but I'm struggling to interpret the message.
Perhaps I should consult a medium?
Berni
03-09-2015, 09:59 AM
f**k off in the nicest possible way.
Sir Charlie of Nicholas
03-09-2015, 10:01 AM
It can't bode well.
Classic Jorge
03-09-2015, 10:23 AM
Sir Charlie of Nicholas
03-09-2015, 10:24 AM
I've put on a couple of pounds, actually. I shall nip it in the bud before it becomes a trend.
Classic Jorge
03-09-2015, 10:26 AM
Done a quick hour this morning though.
Currently both feeling the burn and pushing the envelope, to the max.
Sir Charlie of Nicholas
03-09-2015, 10:33 AM
Plenty of butter.
Classic Jorge
03-09-2015, 10:36 AM
The chap who always called me "Sir!" and brought me my bacon sandwiches has been diagnosed with a brain tumor, poor *******.
I feel bad now. I didn't do a monty, I promise.
Sir Charlie of Nicholas
03-09-2015, 10:38 AM
You can make his final days comfortable by referring to him as 'You there!' and demanding that he performs demeaning tasks for you.
Berni
03-09-2015, 10:41 AM
Classic Jorge
03-09-2015, 10:43 AM
I just want him to call me sir one last time :cry:
Classic Jorge
03-09-2015, 10:46 AM
Berni
03-09-2015, 10:47 AM
Depending on the type of tumour and exactly where it is, there's every chance he'll make a full recovery.
Classic Jorge
03-09-2015, 10:50 AM
http://www.tasteofcinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ralph-brown-withnail-and-i.jpg
Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler
03-09-2015, 11:11 AM
47, known him man and boy.
Now that was an odd funeral service.
Berni
03-09-2015, 11:12 AM
Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler
03-09-2015, 11:21 AM
Been to too many funerals and carried enough coffins to last me a long time.
Last Wednesday was weird for such an event in a catholic church. Bit of Clannad, bit of Luke Kelly, Jerusalem.
The One Direction.
:-
Few comments outside as we milled around to speak with family members of the deceased.
Berni
03-09-2015, 11:24 AM
There's really no excuse for Clannad, is there?
Jerusalem is a very odd one for an Irish Catholic funeral. Any idea what the story was there?
Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler
03-09-2015, 11:33 AM
No idea on Jerusalem tbh.
It's a very nice piece of music but had a few people scratching their heads as it is as far removed from what one may expect to hear in a Catholic Church as possible.
There was a poem read out in German also as his wife is from Bavaria and he was extremely fond of the area.
He went to college in Birmingham and then practised for a while in Windsor, so he had an affiliation with the mainland UK.
Not a very religious occasion to be fair, priest did a blessing but the rest was mainly music and speeches, eulogy etc.
Cremated next day then.
Berni
03-09-2015, 11:38 AM
The music was all classical and a bit dull, but we did get a letter from David Cameron (they'd been friends at Oxford) and then everyone piled into the free drink that had been laid on by his chambers.
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