Affairs of State have interfered with my Easter plans. I will therefore be spending Holy Week

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

in Salzburg. I know little of Salzburg, but wish to luncheon at the Red Bull hangar.

I must brush up on my anti-semitism so I can blend in with the Austrians.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

My glw has established that there is some opera or other on the night of my birthday, and suggested that we might wish to attend this event.

My 50th birthday. At the opera? Why would she even say such a thing?

[Luis Anaconda]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Direct flights to Salzburg: BA go on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Ryanair go on, try to guess, yes, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Daft *******s.

I wonder if there's anywhere near the airport I could stop for the Schweinshaxe? I expct the Austrians do something similar but they're sure to f**k it up.

[Luis Anaconda]

Actually a rather fine beer hall in the airport - sure they would do a good Schweinshaxe

[redgunamo]

going shopping for ball gowns and new court shoes.

"Oh, I like the Four Seasons, but who's this Vivaldi bloke?"

:-|

[Classic Jorge]

https://cdn4.thedissolve.com/features/295/fullwidth.504cf584.jpg

['Neg]

[Berni]

Personally, I wouldn't give you tuppence for opera. A good Mozart one has some cracking arias and whatnot, but the rest of it's just warbling.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

That's the plan then, off the flight, a Schweinshaxe and 3 or 4 masss, stagger up to the Avis desk farting and reeking of booze. LAD imo.

[Luis Anaconda]

[Classic Jorge]

[Ashberto]

If you select a woman of cultured sophistication then she might even be down there in the 2nd violins.

[Berni]

are.

Benjamin Britten. Oooof! :-(

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

and the libretto reveals she is saying, 'Could you bring me some tea?'

It's all cobblers.

[Classic Jorge]

What's an opera sung in english? It's a musical and, as we all know, no good can come of a musical.

'cept Blues Brothers, of course

[Classic Jorge]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Luis Anaconda]

[Classic Jorge]

You'll be experimenting with Tommy next.

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I am a big fan of Damon Albarn's work but this was far from his finest hour.

Actually it was utter f**king ****e.

[redgunamo]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

and Eva, but they pulled it down, apparently.

[Berni]

Oliver! is literally the only musical worth watching.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Classic Jorge]

[redgunamo]

[Berni]

There's a subtle, but important difference there, imo.

Also, I couldn't bear looking at the fat singy one. :-(

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Then I saw the Depp / Bonham-Carter job on DVD. It was utter, utter ****.

[redgunamo]

[Classic Jorge]

Funnily enough, I watched Whatever Works - a woody allen film staring Larry David, possibly the jewwiest thing ever - at the weekend and in the opening monologue he said almost the same thing.

[redgunamo]

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Sometimes I worry about you.

[Berni]

I've discovered one of the downsides of this 'stealing films off of the internet' thing, which is that I'm now watching films before Mark Kermode has reviewed them. This feels quite risky.

Inherent Vice, for instance, I watched last week with no knowledge of what Kermode thought about it.

It was good at first, but far too long. It got boring.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Please stop stealing. Think of your blackened soul :-(