What will I make for dinner. Nothing in I will have to go shopping.

[Pat Vegas]

Can't be curry as I've done this before.

Any sort of roast dinner I can make that won't take hours.

Awimb decides.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

undo the trussing and slam it in a hot oven for an hour.

Done.

[Berni]

[Berni]

How are you supposed to get steam gushing from its cavity when it's trussed up?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

upon removal from the oven :-(

[Rich]

[Pat Vegas]

[Berni]

their mum. Did you know that?

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

f**king hell.

[Berni]

You really should season the skin and rub it with butter first.

[Berni]

[Pat Vegas]

And I only make curry usually or other boring things.

Don't know what else to pick.

I might do a fry up.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Pat Vegas]

scrubbing the poussin off plates.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

Mustard, obviously. Some salad and whatever spuds you fancy.

[Pat Vegas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I see my mum in all manner of roasted meats.

[Berni]

no-one will know they've been frozen, will they? Will they?

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Wd Fash, very London.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

You'll know.

[Berni]

in sexual congress this evening? Or is it just your turn to cook?

[Pat Vegas]

[Berni]

They look like Han Solo would have done if he was a lobster.

I might just buy a ****load and keep a few lobsters just knocking around for whenever I fancy one.

[Pat Vegas]

which way the cupboards in the kitchen open in the new place.

[Berni]

chickpea curry for lunch.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Don't try and deflect this on me.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It's intolerable.

[Luis Anaconda]

[Berni]

Would it be better if they were more expensive? Or from Waitrose?

I could do something else with them. Lobster curry?

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

You think I am joking.

I am not.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The reason they're 5.99 a pop is because they're not worth more than 5.99 a pop.

In short, they're ****.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Why did you leave Ireland last week anyway?

[Berni]

I could make lobster bisque.

[Berni]

Frozen Lidl lobster and tinned pate de foie gras. It's an austerity banquet.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

ingridents for The Seafood Restaurant in Iceland.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Luis Anaconda]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

There is a choice between no lobster and some lobster. I prefer some lobster.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

a) bad sex

b) no sex

I think we know what the wise man would be choosing here, no?

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

The conversation about a minute later as the waiter tried to explain "sous vide" was priceless all the same.

Times are bad when I have to intervene and calm things.