A wonderful review of Russell Brand's terrible new book

[Brentwood]

These are sentences that stupid people think are smart; a simple concept brutally assaulted by a thesaurus. When he hits upon a phrase he likes, the reader should prepare to be smothered by it. Scattered throughout Revolution, Brand denounces “the occupants of the bejeweled bus,” “the bejeweled fun bus of privilege,” “the eighty-five occupants of the bejeweled bus of privilege,” “the occupants of the bejeweled bus,” the “bejeweled bus with eighty-four other plutocrats,” and a “bejeweled misogynist making money by moving ice.” The writing isn’t just excruciatingly bad, but exhaustingly repetitive.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/02/russell-bra nd-s-revolution-for-morons.html (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/02/russell-brand-s-revolution-for-morons.html)

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Classic Jorge]

I think I'd rather have Keane's autobiog tbh

[Berni]

sub-literate, fourth-form poltical and economic analysis as a gift?

:-(

[Classic Jorge]

You know the thing though, people get the idea you like something and continue to buy the stuff for you.

I get it with Ricky Gervais too. I have a box set of Extras - just one of the most awful, self-indulgent, cringeworthy slab-cameofests ever committed to filum - still unopened from last year.

I also have the complete unabridged DVD of the actual, original Frost/Nixon interviews - all 17 bloody hours! - after mentioning how brilliant the crucially fictionalised Frost/Nixon film was.

Lovely people my relatives, completely ignorant when it comes to an Amazon wish list though.

[Dorset Gooner]

The cry that the world is unfair can sometimes sound merely babyish, sometimes as powerful as the thunderings of a Biblical prophet. “Your riches are corrupted, your garments are moth-eaten, your gold and silver is cankered...” But when the cry comes from someone who seems the epitome of a vapid, ill-informed, coke-frazzled, self-adoring and grossly hypocritical celeb, preaching to us from the back of his chauffeur-driven Merc, then the only response it deserves is a snort of derisive laughter. Some of this stuff does indeed need saying, but Russell Brand is not the man to say it.

[Berni]

suchlike that would disgrace the twee-est of home counties lavatories. As a result, I owned books with titles like 'Jonners' Funniest Cricket Stories' and '1,000 great sledges' or - worst of all - 'My Dear Old Thing - Blowers' Lifetime in Cricket'.

I had to hide these objects in case someone thought I'd actually bought them. :-(

[Berni]

undermine him. And the sort of cretins who fall for his bull**** will agree.

[Classic Jorge]

[Dorset Gooner]

[Dorset Gooner]

[Brentwood]

[Berni]

I suspect the reality is rather different, though. :-(

[Classic Jorge]

[Brentwood]

my book Revolution."

https://twitter.com/rustyrockets/status/529336627735560192

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Dorset Gooner]

[Berni]

figures I absolutely cannot stand in cricket commentary. It's almost as though my ex father-in-law was trying to wind me u...oh :-|

[Berni]

it's had absolutely massive publicity. This Christmas, it'll clearly be the book to buy for the half-bright adolescent revolutionary in your life.

[Berni]

Russell Brand.

[Brentwood]

Just look at UKIP. Do your interviews in the pub and keep referring to the fact that you've put the establishment's nose out of joint

I have noticed the same tactic used on Facebook, where a post will say that "so and so in a position of power is really angry about this picture showing him dressed as a fairy so it would be awful if you shared it around :) " It plays to the same idea of the little man harming someone important or a big corporation through working in a union wit hother like minded folk

[Brentwood]

He was even on MotD ffs

[Classic Jorge]

Notice they bantered off the greens with organic composthousery though

[Classic Jorge]

I've always been a bit of a fan of the lad, there's something of the Andy Kauffman about him.

He is also very eloquent and entertaining, especially when out of context, like on news shows.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

You can't have the BBC allowing airtime to gibbering loonies. It would be unseemly.

[Berni]

would be a good plan to organise a constituency that takes in pretty much every crusty left in Great Britain.

[Berni]

language to disguise his paucity of wit, ideas or disciplined material. He isn't even a good stand-up.

[Brentwood]

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/B1dBTHGIQAENnPs.png

Russell Brand's writing feels like someone is about to shout "PARKLIFE!" at the end of every sentence.

[Berni]

paid person in the organisation earns. Can't see any problems there, can you? :hehe:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Can't find the bugger now.

[Berni]

bet he doesn't eat Nestle products.

[Classic Jorge]

...to be on the debates. They're also polling higher than the Libs.

That said, they do have some great policies like Opposition to TTIP, Legalisation of Cannabis, Reducing Attack Spend.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Here are some choice morsels from their Environment section.

44bn to be spent on investing in renewable energy sources, transport, insulation, housing and waste management

An end to the use of nuclear power

30bn allocated to building and repairing roads will be redirected to public transport, with a ban on the construction of new roads

Free insulation for homes which need it, as a way of reducing emissions

Bosh. Just like that. There's 37bn just to get things started. :hehe:

Mind you, once they've shut down the nuclear reactors we'll all be sitting here in the dark scratching our arses so we won't care so much about the economic ****storm we're living through.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It just goes on and on...


• Prescription charges to be abolished

• All eye tests would become free

• Free dental care, with the choice of an NHS dentist for everyone

• Free social care to be available to all

[Classic Jorge]

And yes, he's florid and verbose, but he talks less **** than both of the Hitchenses put together.

[Berni]

[Berni]

The same roads they're suggesting shouldn't be repaired? Which will presumably result in buses disappearing into craterous potholes, won't it?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Less mental than The Greens, though.

[Classic Jorge]

You see those policies I mentioned, they're the ones I quite like. The others I didn't mention are the ones why I said that they're a party I could never endorse.

Also, we spend 60bn a year on defence, almost 3pc of GDP. Defenestrate that and we'd have enough money to sort out some proper infrastructure without raising a penny of taxes.

[Berni]

wasn't so much 'flying' as 'people in their jim-jams jumping around on cushions with their legs crossed'. Still good, though.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It's a good job there aren't any bad people in the world who might try to harm you and your family, j.

What a time to be alive.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It looked bloody painful to me.

[Berni]

Like I was an amputee or some **** like that.

[Classic Jorge]

Just convert the army into some sort of public works corps to keep the dangerous psychopaths off of the streets and we could really make some progress.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Classic Jorge]

Given that we were last invaded in 1688, by your lot I might add, I'm sure we'll be OK if we reduce the army a bit.

[Berni]

please, j? Do you really believe the world is such a safe place that we don't need chaps with guns on our side?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

invaded?

If I were to tell you to f**k off, with allusions to fifth form *******s, you'd know it was only epic bantz sans ****housery, wouldn't you?

[Classic Jorge]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Please show your workings.

[Classic Jorge]

I think life would be generally the same whoever was in charge anyway.

Same yolk, different whip. Who cares?
















It's all ****housery at the end of the day, dearest

[Classic Jorge]

We're all in this together, aren't we?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[redgunamo]

I mean, soldiers don't actually design and make guns or tanks and whatnot.

[Berni]

On which note, I've just discovered that the Irish navy is calling its latest Offshore Patrol Vessel 'Samuel Beckett'

I mean, we all liked Quantum Leap, but that seems to be going a bit far.