A white heteronormative cisgendered CEO professor and Baptist preacher was teaching a class on Karl

[the splendor of antigone]

Rove, known Christian.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Jesus Christ and accept that you too can become straight through daily prayer, self-flagellation, and eating Chik-Fil-A every day!”

At this moment, a brave, trans-Asian, self-diagnosed pansexual demiromantic vegan multisouled person who had been free of all animal products and only bought products at the local transgender co-op boldly stood up, holding a glass filled with some white liquid.

“Hey, Professor, what is this?”

The arrogant professor smirked like a rapist and smugly replied “It’s clearly milk, you crazy faggot. What the f**k does milk have to do with political science?”

“Wrong. It’s an all natural vegan soy almond kombucha latte. No animals or transpeople were harmed or raped in the making of this product.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Wall Street Journal. He stormed out of the room, clearly planning some kind of rape. The professor realized that he had been playing into the hands of the kyriarchy of CEOs, investment bankers, the Religious Right, and psychiatrists. He then killed himself. The proper term for this is “trans-dead”.

The students checked their privilege, all diagnosed themselves with autism and gender identity disorder and joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. An obese trans-eagle furry otherkin waddled into the room and tried to perch upon the American Flag, bending the flagpole in the process. All parties involved gave up meat, Christianity, and the right to bear arms.

The students all lifted their glasses of soy fluid in a toast.

“That beverage’s name? Harvey “The One Percent” Milk.” said the vegan trans-autistic Korean.

[the splendor of antigone]

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders

[the splendor of antigone]

A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Superieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!" At this moment a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'etre of empericism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.

"How universal is this text, frenchie?" The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "It's not universal at all, f**king positivist, its "truth" is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge." "Wrong. It's been 225 years since human reason created it. if it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real... then it should be regarded as a myth now."

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled hiimself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting.

He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it! The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named "Formal logic" flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principa Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions. The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

[Hendon Gooner (Only Easy Day Was Yesterday))]

Wenger AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHTTTT!!!

:rubchin:

[The Rob2]

[the splendor of antigone]

the Navy Seals, am trained in Gorilla warfare and have over 300 confirmed kills etc etc.

[JohnnyPuma]

[the splendor of antigone]

A Jewish allied homosexual professor and Treaty of Versailles supporter was teaching a class on Theodor Adorno, known Marxist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Einstein and accept that he was the smartest man ever, even smarter than Gottlob Frege or Karl Schmitt.

At this moment, a brave, Aryan, 14/88 SS Obersturmbannfuehrer who had killed 1500 Untermenschen on the Ostfront and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by Nazi Germany stood up and showed a picture of an Aryan man.

”What can you tell me about this, Rassenschande?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “He is just a man, no different from an Untermensch, except the Jews are probably even smarter”

”Wrong. It is the proven master race, tracing his lineage back to every people that ever accomplished something and has every right to struggle for Lebensraum.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of das Kapital in Hebrew. He stormed out of the room crying those Schmutzig-Judische crocodile tears. The same tears Judeo-Bolshevists cry for the “gassed” when they jealously try to claw justly earned land from the deserving Uebermenschen. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Schlomo Marxstein, wished his people were not causing all the troubles the Reich was facing, and wished he didn’t deservedly got what was coming to him for that.

The students applauded and all registered to the Nazi party that day and accepted Adolf Hitler as their Feuhrer. A Reichsadler named “Germanentum” flew into the room and perched atop the Nazi flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The first couplet of “Deutschland uber alles” was sung several times, and Thor himself showed up and roused the people for totalen Krieg all across the Reich.

The professor lost his tenure and was sent to Auschwitz the next day and didn’t die there because the Holocaust never happened.

Sieg Heil