During our holiday I discovered that babies bounce surprisingly well

[Monty91]

when tipped out of their buggy and dropped headfirst onto concrete.

Little fella only screamed for about a minute, too. Clearly he's inherited his mother's pain threshold. Gentile blood, I suppose.

[Classic Jorge]

http://www.wolfgnards.com/media/blogs/photos/celebrities/Sloth-Fratelli-490x312.jpg

[Jake]

[Berni]

[Ashberto]

[Monty91]

[Monty91]

him becoming a thick football fan c**t who will banter me off with ****housery at regular intervals.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Instead of waiting say 7 years, encouraging him the whole time, indulging him in back garden kickabouts to only now discover that he is absolutely f**king ****e at the game.

[Monty91]

from a young age should not become proficient at a sport like football.

*cough* Louis Anaconda *cough*

[barrybueno]

[Jake]

So I decided to like football, and have in turn bantered him off for the last 15 years with my superior knowledge and analysis.

Be wary. You may create a monster (Monty 2.0).

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

They're kids. There is an element of unknown.

One incident last saturday morning as an example, and this was not even mine so I allowed myself a good chuckle.

The ball went wide at which point the manager and assorted parents were beseeching player 1 and player 2 to get the ball as they were in a good position and a free run on goal was theirs.

Unfortunately player 1 and player 2 were busy being Ninja, or perhaps Sith Lords, that detail I am unsure about. The ball gently rolled past them and came to a stop. The opposition managed to retrieve the ball before player 1 or player 2 finished combat. The moment was gone.

I laughed. Parent beside me put his head in his hand and muttered "f**k me".

We lost that game 3-1.

[Monty91]

I know you're short of leisure opportunities over there, but still.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Scored a decent goal.

Ran like a chap who had been taken over by the devil towards the touchline and slid on his knees, television style.

Right in front of the opposition assembled parents and managers.

We need to work on that.

[Ashberto]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

One of the kids kisses the inside of his wrist, Suarez style. Liverpool supporting father you see.

I have seen others perform 'dances' as such. f**king shocking what they learn from telly.

Give them a drink and the wee *******s spit half of it out.

[Jake]

A lad called me a poof once then got sent off for swinging at me after I shushed him post scoring the winner.

Modern football sw.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I'll wager your boots weren't even black.

The boots on show at saturday morning matches wouldn't look out of place at a Klaxons gig.

f**king hairband.

:hehe:

[Dr Headgear - Wannabe viking]

I've seen kids dribble through 10 players and pop it in the top corner, only to find they'd been running the wrong f**king way.

[Jake]

A shameless tart I was sw, a shameless tart.