That ****ty Hilton on Upper St wants 40 quid for 24 hours parking.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Honestly, the place grits my ****. It has all the charm and ambience of a Travelodge and manages to get away with the charges of The Dorchester.

I'd almost be tempted to take my future business to the Jury's.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I've been struggling with an moaning about That ****ty Hilton for years. I've stayed there and whinged like f**k about it 20 times. It's like we're locked in a struggle to the death for all eternity. When I die I want my rotting corpse dumped in their lobby.

[Pat Vegas]

Jurys is Now Hilton By Double Tree Islington.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I hate Hiltons. Do you know what they have done to the once-great Waldorf? They've turned it into sometime with all the style and grace of a Holiday f**king Inn.

[Rich]

You should take a commission.

How is the wine list & food?

[Berni]

That's what a chap does on his wedding night, isn't it? Get sloshed with pals?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The last time I stayed there was 1994. It was called the Pearl Village Resort then. About 5 years ago I was passing and swung by for a peek, only to note that they'd knocked the old place down and started anew.

So, to be brutally frank, I have no idea :shrug:

The good news is that the shack on the beach directly outside does tasty spring rolls at lunchtime. And an acceptable pad thai. Or did 5 years ago, anyway.

[Jake]

You mug.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Will you clarify the stock with egg white? I've never really got how that works.

[Rich]

[Berni]

really. I see no value in introducing soup into the equation.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

You could always sex it up a bit. A bisque, perhaps?

[Jake]

You should've gone to Bangkok.

Or better still go to Malaysia.

[Rich]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I was on the bigger one last year. Very quiet, very remote. Perfect.

[Rich]

Never been my style unless in Sharm for some cheap Jan/Feb sun.

Then you can just lay in the sun and get pissed on free booze.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

In fact I was refused a drink in the bar at which point I remonstrated with them as a guest of the hotel, at which point I was asked to leave the bar.

Dress code you see.

[Ashberto]

in 1901 when it was just Penton Grove.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

foreigners.

There were people in the bar wearing jeans the last time I was there. I almost passed clean out.

[Rich]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Jeans and a t-shirt, early evening beer to loosen myself up a little.

Oh no. Get out!

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

No jeans.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Ask the rather intense Danish volunteers why the gibbons I pay good money for each month have stopped writing.

[Jake]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

Who is giving the gibbons drugs?

[Berni]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Just no jeans.

I dined in a place in New York once on the top floor of what was the old twin towers. They had a jacket rule so upon arrival they produced the spare jacket from the cupboard for me to wear while dining.

Clearly your average Yank was a different size to me. Quite ridiculous really. The thing was like a f**king tent.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

They keep them in the sort of bars where hippies like to hang out watching Jean-Claude van Damme videos, smoking weed and eating banana and chocolate pancakes whilst keeping it real, because keeping it real is what hippies do when they travel, of course. As well as keeping it real they give fags to the gibbons.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

I can highly recommend it.

[Berni]

It's a god-gibbon right.

[Pat Vegas]

Jurys goes all the way through to White Lion Street now they've finished the extension.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The warnings should be printed in English as well. The ability to read Thai is not a gibbon.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Pat Vegas]

[Pat Vegas]

Not 100% sure but there is a discount if you stay at jurys/doubletree. Well there used to be at least think it was 5 or 10 percent off.

Or just park outside the Jurys nobody will question you or do anything about it all. At very least they might leave a note on your car but that's it.

[Berni]

physical fitness and ended up missing a leap and plummeting out of a tree.

Gibbon's Decline and Fall, they could call it.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

[Ashberto]

They might have even met Lenin.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I usually pay much more than that.