Now I'm no expert, of course, but if you're having to put clauses into an employee's contract to try

[Berni]

and make him not behave like a raving lunatic, isn't that a teensy-weensy clue that you probably shouldn't be employing him in the first place?

[Curly]

Either he'll win them the title or get kicked out and told to f**k off

[Berni]

[Curly]

[Berni]

overnight. As though no-one had ever tried suggesting not being a **** to him before. :hehe:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

and not have to pay him 100 grand a week while he sits out his ban.

[Berni]

But do all employment contracts not have some sort of behaviour clause? Gross misconduct or what have you?

[Ciaran]

Do you think he has been signed to increase more minute silences befofe kick off? I mean the man is capable of anything. And let's be honest the red side of liverpool love a minute silence.

[Curly]

Bit late for the Italian moonbeam imo

[Berni]

It's still utterly priceless. :hehe:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I fancy making a lasagne. So he minced me up some pork shoulder and some rump steak and some extra fat, trimmed some chicken livers and cut a nice lump of pancetta. :cloud9:

Honestly, the man is a gift from God.

[Berni]

Take all the insulin-spiking effects of pasta and then pour a flour-thickened sauce and cheese all over it?

You might as well just go and get yourself reverse-liposucted.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I need to bulk up a bit.

[Berni]

Does everyone who works in that place have a beard?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I met Cad yesterday, one of the co-founders, Charming chap. Hipster as you like. Brave fellow, though, opening such a company in 2008. I also noticed that Ryan's the MD. I wondered why the other tailors deferred to him so much.

[Peter]

They will know exactly how to handle these situations, the same way they so beautifully handled those with suarez.

You can buy values and ethics, b.

[Berni]

tailored suits. Easy to say that with hindsight, though, I guess.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Clever chaps.

There was a fantastic Hooray in there yesterday afternoon. Gurt fat lad, mid-30s, all tweeded up, ordering red moleskin trousers. Poor John had to measure his blubber. You could see him visibly recoiling.

[Berni]

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

carrying a silver-ended cane.

If you saw him in Lewisham he'd have looked absurd. In Mayfair he just seemed to fit.

I love Mayfair :sigh:

[Berni]

Only the truly posh can manage that, I'm afraid. It is something to which us lower middle class types can only aspire. We're cursed with a constant image of how the world perceives us.

[Luis Anaconda]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/its-okay -ive-brought-my-own-flamethrower-say-balotelli-2014082289795 (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/its-okay-ive-brought-my-own-flamethrower-say-balotelli-2014082289795)

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

is not simply that they assume the world will bend itself to accommodate and facilitate them, but the weird way in which it actually does. For instance, chappy there with the trousers could probably walk blithely into a drinking club in Harlesden dressed like that and braying away and not only come to no harm, but have a splendid time and walk away with lots of new friends.

You or I - were we so rash as to attempt such a thing - would get killed.

They're a different species imo.

[Peter]

Incredible ethics and values.

I didnt make it up. One couldn't, in fact.