I've got my parents coming round for lunch on Saturday and I want to roast something's flesh.

[Berni]

Any ideas that don't mean getting up at 4 O'Clock in the morning to prepare?

[Luis Anaconda]

[Mc Gooner]

I suspect your dad may prefer that to your mum though tbf

[Berni]

[Mc Gooner]

[the splendor of antigone]

You don't want to be an unethical person, do you?

[Berni]

Sorry, mum. :-(

[Berni]

well, I'd be out of the will.

[Classic Jorge]

[the splendor of antigone]

My sister tried to serve him falafel once. The despair in his eyes was priceless.

[Berni]

manly, but make you fat.

[Classic Jorge]

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Ron+Swanson_022313_4424099.jpg

[Berni]

butternut squash. :rolleyes:

[Berni]

[the splendor of antigone]

etc. etc.

Good man, though.

[Luis Anaconda]

[Berni]

And also cuts the carb count somewhat.

[the splendor of antigone]

Potatoes, gravy, and a slab of meat and he's the most content person in the world. Since his heart attack he's been more open to salads, though. Drenched in f**king dressings of all varieties :hehe:

He'll probably die soon

[the splendor of antigone]

[Harry Balls]

[Berni]

[Chief Arrowhead]

Make an herb paste (your favorite herbs and spices drizzled with olive oil) and spread it over all sides.

This recipe calls for thyme which is conservative, but when I'm feeling INSANE I use tarragon. Rosemary, to me, says beef, not pork.

Decent enough:
http://southernfood.about.com/od/porkroasts/r/bl30323a.htm

My only "beef" with these printed recipes out there is that they overcook the pork. Everyone says 145F (62C), evidently because of some Gubment regs. Trust me, Take it out of the oven at 140F (60C) and tent it for 15 minutes. It will be perfect.

[Berni]

Not going to follow your advice (giving guests roast chicken is essentially a way of telling them you don't care about them imo - particularly if you haven't cooked them imvho), but I appreciate your effort.

[Berni]

I like the pork idea, though. I'm thinking a 12-hour slow roasted shoulder ('butt' to you, I believe), rubbed with garlic, salt and fennel seed and served with crispy onions on a potato and butternut squash mash.

[Rich]

[Harry Balls]

Given what it sounds like are delicate sensibilities from the old fella, its beef or pork. And two types of potato dishes. Roast some carrots and add a little chili to them, and roast brussel sprouts, too.

[Chief Arrowhead]

but I thought you didn't want to get up at 4 in the morning?

[Snin]

[Mc Gooner]

you wanted a sensible answer :hehe:

[Snin]

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=home+delivery+rotisserie+c hickens+london&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=or g.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=sb &gfe_rd=cr&ei=lwX2U9DyE6XY8gfXiYGYAQ (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=home+delivery+rotisserie+chickens+london&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=sb&gfe_rd=cr&ei=lwX2U9DyE6XY8gfXiYGYAQ)

order some roast chicken and go have bath , ****, , snooze then get back on it and serve them chicken imo

[Berni]

smell of porky goodness in the morning. Whack up the heat for the last half hour for the crackling to get perfect. The rest is just veg preparation, which is easy.

Meanwhile, the woman will be making a pear and frangipane tart. Wallop!

[Classic Jorge]

[Snin]

easy does it

[Berni]

[Berni]

The f**ker would haunt me if I served him that.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

No need for lengthy discussion.

[Berni]

[Classic Jorge]

Though I admit by teetotalism and your eschewing of carbs might call that into question among the full-blooded, SW types

[Snin]

oh and potatoes of course being irish :-)

plus he'll never know

http://www.marksandspencer.com/10-hour-slow-cooked-short-rib -of-beef/p/p60058146 (http://www.marksandspencer.com/10-hour-slow-cooked-short-rib-of-beef/p/p60058146)

:cloud9:

[Harry Balls]

[Snin]

http://www.marksandspencer.com/10-hour-slow-cooked-short-rib -of-beef/p/p60058146 (http://www.marksandspencer.com/10-hour-slow-cooked-short-rib-of-beef/p/p60058146)

mmmmm honestly m&s , good whisky and beer..m & s roast spuds..he wont have a clue ..simple imo

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Wouldn't do it myself of course, I am not a queer. Each to their own all the same.

The carbs thing I understand less. That seems very queer to me.

[Chief Arrowhead]

[Curly]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

[Berni]

My father may be Irish, c, but I think we can push the boat out a bit more, can't we?

[Classic Jorge]

[Curly]

[Curly]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Okay perhaps if you have some poofs coming round for tea, but in this case it is his parents.

[Classic Jorge]

http://myleeneklass.com/assets/uploads//legacy/2008/06/mands_money6.jpg

[Berni]

Best avoided, I think.

[Classic Jorge]

everyone loves a waffle, just like chips but in grid form

[Curly]

Branston me

[Mc Gooner]

[Berni]

I mean it's obviously worth finding out, but still.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Never had them foreign ones you allude to. Lidl I assume.

[Berni]

[Curly]

Student staple is your waffle

[Berni]

Figuratively speaking, you understand? NTTAWWI, but I really don't think my gluten-free bread's buttered that side.

[Classic Jorge]

[Curly]

wee bit of a kick imo

[Classic Jorge]

[Berni]

rubber,Pot Noodles - you name it. But somehow Waffles never came up.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

when you carve it so you get little sort of lamby choppy bits - pick them up and nibble after.

People that prefer more well done eat the outer - rarer eat the middle, so all are sorted.

Roasted, sod all time and lush.

Those were the 3 boxes you wanted ticked, no?

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

It adds something.

Quite the kitchen wizards we are.

[Berni]

Tasty enough, but the resulting gaseous emissions were in clear breach of the Geneva Convention, frankly.

[Curly]

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

if the middle ones are basically raw.

It's how my missus and I share roast beef.

[Berni]

[Berni]

hole.

[Curly]

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Readily available in all good supermarkets.

Never had them mind you, I am not a completely dirty *******.

[Berni]

[Berni]

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

the value isle. :hehe:

Good chance in a big London supermarket, anyway.

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

http://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/images/large/SGN3974.jpg

[wibble the lobster]

[Supermac1976]