Last night I dreamt that Billy Bragg came to a party I was holding. We were old mates and he was

[Berni]

telling me how he was going to jack in the music stuff and set up a website of some sort. I advised him against this, but he was set on the idea.

This only a few weeks after I dreamt that I was mates with Keira Knightley and shared a hot tub with her (not in a naughty way).

My unconscious self moves in much smarter circles than the actual me - the starf**king c**t. :-(

[Classic Jorge]

Was David Dein in the Jackutzi?

[Snin]

very odd..almost a nightmare really

[Classic Jorge]

Bitch needs a bacon sandwich imo

[Berni]

I was quite disappointed to wake up and realise I wasn't actually mates with her. :-(

[Mo Britain less Europe]

[Classic Jorge]

Maybe you should have some cheese before bed

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Yes, I have it.

It means you're an art student at heart b.

[Monty91]

I guess this suggests you'd make a really funny woman.

[Luis Anaconda]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Wossit. Never let me go.

[Berni]

Which is odd, 'cos she was quite unpleasant in that movie - albeit with good reason.

[Supermac1976]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/3f58e1c9ba1860227498951d448917be/tumblr_moqd6lZalm1qbnleeo1_400.gif

[Berni]

mind throughout the whole dream.

[Classic Jorge]

....the Bronte sisters table dancing, Gabriel Princip spilling a party seven all over my imaginary antique rug.

Basically, I hold the best parties of anybody in my dreams.

[Berni]

Mind you, I think he'd been on the gear before he arrived.

[Mo Britain less Europe]

[Monty91]

when you turned and saw your real life partner in bed next to you? (lovely though I'm sure she is)

[Berni]

she seemed a bit put out to have missed the evening by virtue of only being there as a product of my subconscious.

[Monty91]

and I made my dad cry by being unnecessarily callous and took out my frustration by inflicting damage on the walls of our flat.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Ask him yourself if you don't believe me.

[Classic Jorge]

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/09_01/keeganDM0609_468x766.jpg

[Berni]

and headaches. This is a medical FACT.
Is this true, m? Is your essence going unreleased?

[Monty91]

An entire 24 hours has passed since you last asked me. I could have made the sex loads of times since then.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I can tell by your tone. I read you like a book, m.

[Berni]

[Monty91]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I like to keep track of everyone's sexual activity, m.

[Berni]

[Classic Jorge]

[Monty91]

Well, I say a cuddle. She was on the phone to the bank while I kind of grasped her while gently weeping.

[Berni]

I'll bet he's been less mental since he's been getting his spuds drained, mind.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I mean did anything squirt out of your winky. Not counting peepee.

[Berni]

Frankly, I think there's not much point calling yourself celibate and then ****ing yourself silly. You might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb imo.

[Monty91]

since I was about 15.

Ahhhh, I miss grandma :-(

[Berni]

[Classic Jorge]

Let 'em **** for god's sake!

That whole 'spilling your seed' thing could just be gardening advice

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Between us we must know a spare woman of negotiable virtue.

[Berni]

I fear he'd be the sort to start having 'feelings' and overcomplicating matters.

What he needs is a good hoor imo.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I am NOT paying for monty to dip his wick. I will happily procure the strumpet, and I will even gladly negotiate a price for the appalling deviant activities in which he will no doubt wish to engage, but I insist that he pay.

Alright. I insist that he pay half.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

My favourite.