Random pointless stories. Many years ago I worked in security

[Pat Vegas]

we had to do a test for the SIA licence.
Couple of days of training. real basic stuff.

Anyway before the test I was outside having a smoke when another chap is there looking rather flustered pacing up and down.

I said to the bloke what's up. 'Nervous about this test I need this job' I said don't worry it's really easy mate.

'maybe for you!'
I said why

'I CAN'T READ!' he shouts at me :-(

[the splendor of antigone]

I went inside and headed straight for the refrigerator wherein the milk is contained.
I reached one of my hands in there, and pulled out a carton of milk. I then proceeded to the cash register, but unfortunately I had to wait in line for a few minutes.
When I finally got to the cash register I paid for the milk and made my way outside.
I then went home, opened the carton of milk and drank some of it.

[Pat Vegas]

You speak in the American way.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

You've put me off my lunch now.

[Pat Vegas]

[the splendor of antigone]

[The JBear]

[Pat Vegas]

in fact drinking milk in such a way is very North American.

[Monty91]

Argie beef :cloud9:

[Pat Vegas]

[Monty91]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Perhaps this one is better?

For beef these days I can't see beyond Hawksmoor. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is.*

(Haven't been to Goodman yet.)

[Monty91]

Agree about Hawksmoor, though you should deffo pop along to Goodmans one day (not least coz it's run by a huge Gooner). Those places have quite simply made it absolutely pointless ever ordering steak in any other restaurants.

[Berni]

[Monty91]

[7evens]

He's walked straight into that plate glass window jeff

[Ashberto]

Also, you despise gooners, so your sentimental recommendation makes no sense.

[Monty91]

and the doorman waived the entrance fee. When I thanked him he realised I was English and made me pay :-(

[Pat Vegas]

he also f**ked you.

[Monty91]

[The JBear]

[the splendor of antigone]

Hence the conflation of written (and spoken) Englishes.

[Snin]

argophile
a person who does not like to work; one who prefers idleness to work.
Argophiles can never succeed in life.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=argophile