Sir C! - It's been at least two hours since you said something pompous and condescending about

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

the subject of driving airplanes.

So after you've disparaged and ridiculed me for being a landlubber or somesuch, can you explain what the blazes is so arcane and difficult about an airplane's course? The bloody things go rom A to B in as straight a line as they can surely?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The earth is perfectly flat. There is no wind. Magnetic variation does not exist.

Don't worry about it. The nearest you're ever going to get to having to understand how to fly an aeroplane is on your annual Ryanair flight to the Costa Brava to eat egg and chips and buy a straw donkey.

Get back to pulling jobbies out of some old dear's u-bend.

[:hehe:]

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It's tricky when people are spouting ****e and expect a quick explanation. One studies this stuff for years to get commercial pilot's licences, it's a complicated business.

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

frightful mess every old lady's dunny would be in.

If there were fewer pilots there would only be fewer chavs polluting the once beautiful spanish coastline, surely?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The big salary and pension help, but the guilt remains.

"We take scum to beautiful places and then they're not beautiful any more."

['Neg]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL88E1-P2_A&feature=playe r_detailpage#t=37 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL88E1-P2_A&feature=player_detailpage#t=37)

Flying BA this time. I'd better dress smartly for the occasion.

[Rich]

was quite honestly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Sitting by the pool, way up high, looking out over the sea.

That's the life.

If I didn't already have a plan to retire abroad to Tuscany at 55 and sit overlooking my small vineyard of a summer's evening, I'd move to Mallorca.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

['Neg]

We are staying just down the road in Port de Soller. A bit more lively there, but civilised. Some very nice bars and restaurants.

My favourite cycle route goes from Port de Soller to Deia to Valdemosa and back to Soller over the Col de Soller :cloud9:

['Neg]

I have also been to Magaluf on a short break once. Sort of like a chav-safari. Quite interesting.

[Rich]

Port de Soller. Must try that out.

Got my flights out there last year for £50 return.

[Curly]

Holidays you see?
Getting blootered and lounging like a lazy ******* innit

[Maz]

['Neg]

http://www.jumeirah.com/en/hotels-resorts/mallorca/jumeirah- port-soller-hotel-and-spa/ (http://www.jumeirah.com/en/hotels-resorts/mallorca/jumeirah-port-soller-hotel-and-spa/)

['Neg]

[Maz]

I shan't be cycling

[Maz]

[Curly]

['Neg]

Bike seems the least hassle.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I'd rather sleep round the back by the bins.

['Neg]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I am sure your apartment will be quite beautiful.

['Neg]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I used to go to the bins at Saatchi and Saatchi to partake of certain substances. They were most comfortable.

['Neg]

Advertising hipsters. Dear God.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Maz]

http://www.jumeirah.com/en/hotels-resorts/mallorca/jumeirah- port-soller-hotel-and-spa/ (http://www.jumeirah.com/en/hotels-resorts/mallorca/jumeirah-port-soller-hotel-and-spa/)