The sooner this is over, the better. We will get knocked out by the

[Paul Vaessen's moment of glory]

Turks after a 1-1 at home and 0-0 away. Fans will go mental, no Suarez, but Frimpong will display a willingness and dench gusto to kickstart our season along with lee cattermole on a free (the "edge" we need. We wil also get Dean Whitehead, thus sending me, personally into a frantic masturbating stupor of ecstatic idiocy, and amidst all the boos, Arsene will get stressed out and express his thrust for freedom on the tube via a semi-pantomime dance. Happy days! Ooh to be a Gooner!