Old skool poll - what's your worst hangover story?

[Guns 'n' Roses]

I'm a pussy cat - recently I managed to pour vanilla sauce over the chap (ot his suit rather) sitting next to my wife at a wedding party. That's about the worst I've done.

I'm eagerly awaiting stories of slagging off mother in law, shagging wife's best friend and ****ting one's trousers.

[Maravilloso Marvo]

Hangover stories normally consist of laying very still and eating bacon and sausages.

[Brentwood]

Baking hot on there and we were packed in like sardines. I threw up but had nowhere to deposit it so I had to catch it all in my cheeks and wait until the next stop where I ran up to street level to get rid of it. Shameful

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Pissing next to the Belgian Prime Minister's shoes and then falling into a ditch wasn't a high point.

[Guns 'n' Roses]

NeXT morning/day when you either vaguely remember what happened, or don't remember them at all but get them told by someone else who was there.

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Classic Jorge]

[Berni]

Ranging from the shameful to the merely unfortunate. Fighting,vomiting,vilely insulting people,accidentally sleeping with people - take your pick. :-(

[Classic Jorge]

[halfsharkalligatorhalfman]

Came to visit me at uni, brought two decidedly loose (of morals and otherwise) ladies back with him who, in the morning, had both pissed and vommed in the bed he was borrowing from my housemate.

Said girls were then unfortunately unable to make a hasty escape the next morning, as one of them had lost their shoes, so spent a very uncomfortable 20 minutes searching round the sitting room before calling it a day and embarking on a shoeless walk of shame, reeking of piss and sick.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

present me with a prize. He visibly recoiled when he recognised me :-(

[Steve Williams - gay for Mark Knopfler]

Quick clean of the chops and back in.

Not the best move.

[Snin]

in cubicle and thought as it was near end of main course and was quite merry by now may as well have a sharpener now I'm in there so lined one up on cistern, bent over nosed it up then stood up and looked down and change of angle means I'd filled up my cream trousers with piss...so I pulled on dripping piss soak trousers, sneaked out toilets straight into street then cab home..changed and went out in clapham on piss and forgot all about it.. staggered into work hungover with little clear memory of day before to be met by boss next day asked why he had been called by agency moaning i'd disapeared half way through expensive dinner i was meant to pay for and never seen again :-)

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Snin]

a throw up on road without leaving seat ...the ambulance driver next to me gave me a bit of a stare imo

[Berni]

[Brentwood]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Of course my breath was probably 40% proof.

[Brentwood]

[Maravilloso Marvo]

[Pat Vegas]

then we threw a mattress off the roof, stole a tiger and a police car and got involved with some oriental gangster.

and our mate went missing.

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Berni]

Hampton, damned his eyes and relieved yourself on his shoes while pointing out that we basically invented their poxy country anyway.

[Snin]

and I had felt a bit ill so went home leaving them to it and no doubt as they were agency ****ers and got so wasted that they were in the wrong...he agreed ...but took my off seeing that agency anymore..win win imo :-)

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Maravilloso Marvo]

I have an inbuilt switch that shuts me down before it gets too bad.

Having been knifed at such a young age, I have always had a feeling that I must stay in control of my own body and actions. Although I wasn't drunk when that happened, it made me think what could happen if I wasn't in control. That is not to say I don't like a drink and I don't get drunk, I do, a lot. But I never go that one step too far, I always stop before it's too late. It is for the same reasons I have never touched hard drugs in my life, just smoked some weed when I was younger.

[Maravilloso Marvo]

[Pat Vegas]

After being mugged and beat up one time. I always like to stay in control, know where I am going and how I will get home.

I don't like new places/unknown places. Where as others don't give a **** and just go wherever.

[Guns 'n' Roses]

Never pissed or shat myself.

And I've never even touched soft drugs.

[Berni]

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Maravilloso Marvo]

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Norn Iron]

Maybe it was this one, I remember having to get up from my desk because I was laughing so much.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Investigation revealed that he had **** himself in the night, but the interesting thing about the story is how it illustrates the amount we move about whilst asleep, because the **** was literally everywhere, we were both coated in it. I even had his **** in my hair.

[Pat Vegas]

them.

However when I go to a different town. I do not have any prior knowledge to which areas are 'bad' and it all goes out the window and I will go anywhere or stay out later without any worries.

[Berni]

copiously in her rockery. The evening's events had involved a dangerous combination of Thunderbird and Navy Rum. In my defence, I tried to moves some of the rocks about to cover it, but to no avail.

That was a difficult breakfast. :-(

[Guns 'n' Roses]

There are companies in norway that hire Aspies only. Best workers you can get.

[Brentwood]

[Pat Vegas]

[Maravilloso Marvo]

A lot of our analysts here have it some extent or another, even if they are not aware of it.

[Supermac1976]

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/ljUZsD186Qg/hqdefault.jpg

Mrs. Pringle: “It’s midnight. You left the office at 6 o’clock. Where have you been Clive?”

Clive Pringle: “Uhh, the evening I’ve had. Honestly. I was driving home and I was just overcome with tiredness. And I saw this light up ahead, so I just stopped, you know, to rest my eyes. And there this woman who came out with a candle and she showed me into this courtyard where all these boys were dancing. It was an amazing place. There will mirrors on the ceiling and **** champagne on ice. Well, I said I’d stay for a drink, and the Captain brought me my wine. It was actually a bottle they’ve had since the late 60s. They offered me a room in fact. But I said, “No. I’ve got to get home”. And they said I could checkout whenever I liked, but I could never leave. Anyway, so I stayed for dinner in the master’s chambers. And we all had a stab at the meal with our steely knives. But we just couldnt kill the beast.”

Clive: “… and that, darling, is what really happened”

Mrs. Pringle: “That’s actually the plot of “Hotel California” by The Eagles. Where have you been Clive?”

Clive: “I’ve been spit roasting a hooker with your dad.”

[Snin]

told colleague ..then slowly but surely over weeks it got back to boss the truth..but as he was a gay bear he let me off and found the funny side...it was pretty de riguer in soho ad land to have at least one good story :-)

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

"I'll **** in your rockery."

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Guns 'n' Roses]

[Snin]

breakfast he saw them hanging in the tree at about head level outside the dining room french doors :wave: she never invited him back

[Maravilloso Marvo]

[Berni]

I couldn't meet the fellow's eye. :-(

[Guns 'n' Roses]

but the diagnosis didn't exist back then.

[Berni]

friend. The Gods are cruel like that.

Although, to be fair, I've only his word that it was me that did it. :rubchin:

[Mc Gooner]

[71 Guns - channeling the spirit of Mr Hat]

small hours needing to :puke: so pissed couldn't even find the door out of the room. Went back & threw up all over the bed. Woke up, fessed up to his ma pocketing the pillowcase which was now purpley-green (previously cream) & buggered off. Found out later they had to throw out the bedclothes, duvet and the bed it was so bad - never been invited back...

[Red N White Army]

Then proceeded to vomit every 20 yards on the way home. THought it was a reaction to whisky. Seems I had drank surgical spirit instead. Probably should have gone to the hospital tbh