Talking of lavatory etiquette, what sort of animal thinks it acceptable to stroll up to a urinal and

[Berni]

break wind loudly and noisesomely (usually with a self-satisfied look on their Neanderthal f**king face) RIGHT NEXT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!?! :furious:

I'm sorry, but if you do this, you should be chemically castrated.

[Pat Vegas]

[Brentwood]

[Darren's Dodgy Denim]

there is no way I can get my business done.

[Pat Vegas]

[Classic Jorge]

[Pat Vegas]

Overcrowded troff. the one cubicle is busy plus lock doesn't work.

What to do? use the small space of the troff. OR stand around like weirdo waiting for the cubicle.

[Bergkamp's Brain]

[Classic Jorge]

"Please be aware that these toilets are not for socialising in. They are for doing poos, wees and the taking of cocaine"

[Brentwood]

[barrybueno]

[Berni]

The real weirdness is when there are other urinals free and someone deliberately takes the one next to you. That's basically them telling you they're going to sexually molest you imo. :-(

[Classic Jorge]

[Pat Vegas]

in particular for toilets have done away with any sort of flat surface.

Perhaps you are in a hotel and the ****ter is not dirty but you need to put something down for a second. No chance. Everything curved. even the toilet paper dispenser usually has a slant on it or rounded.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I suppose one might argue that the appropriate place for the expulsion of flatus is within the confines of the lavatory; better, surely, for the biscuit to be floated at the trough rather than at, for example, the bar?

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

The toilets at The Wolesley, for example, sport a shiny marble shelf just at the correct height.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

We live on a crowded island. It's not always your turn, is it?

[PSRB]

[Berni]

no-one else can hear or smell my emissions. Were such another about, I would refrain. Why? BECAUSE I AM A CIVILISED MAN!

We're an endangered species, though, us civilised types. :-(

[Classic Jorge]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

on your soft furnishings. So the next person who sits in your living room will be bathing in your cooties :-(

Take it to the lavatory.

[Berni]

bent over and inhaling.

[Berni]

Even with the lavatory door closed, they'll sneak out imo.

We are basically all breathing in arse particles right now. :-(

[Pat Vegas]

[Mc Gooner]

[ITSUPFORGRABSNOW]

[barrybueno]

['Neg]

* not whilst standing at urinals. As far as I'm aware.

[barrybueno]