Got back from holiday yesterday to discover the cat-sitter had bought one of those

[Monty91]

feathers-on-a-stick cat toys.

Called her this morning to say thank you and she proceeded to give us a massive lecture about how our cat is clinically obese and that we must reduce his portion sizes and play with him for at least 30 minutes a day to slim him down.

She could do with some lessons in politeness but I can't entirely argue with the sentiment :-

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3d824b3127ccef31fccf1c75900000030O08AbNHLlm4buA e3nwg/cC/f%3D0/ls%3D00008783994620130605150230958.JPG/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D550/ry%3D400/

[Pat Vegas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

He should have food available all the time, as much or as little as he needs. He will get plenty of exercise running around in the garden, chasing butterflies and bees and climbing trees and doing all the things that make life worthwhile for a cat.

[Club Level]

[Maravilloso Marvo]

[Berni]

Is he part of an entourage?

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

As long is it wears a condom, all will be well.

[Monty91]

rarely has an empty bowl, so I certainly don't think w'ere underfeeding him.

The problem of course is that he's house-bound due to having the Good Aids and so is denied the level of exercise that your average cat gets.

[Berni]

Charlie's apparently still slaughtering stuff like a good'un.

[Monty91]

[Monty91]

That's how she looks.

[Pat Vegas]

http://www.awimb.com/image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBwgHBgkIBwgKCgkLDRYPDQwMDRsUFRAWIB0iIiAdHx 8kKDQsJCYxJx8fLT0tMTU3Ojo6Iys/RD84QzQ5OjcBCgoKDQwNGg8PGjclHyU3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nz c3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3Nzc3N//AABEIAG4AkwMBIgACEQEDEQH/xAAcAAACAgMBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAFBgMEAAIHAQj/xAA8EAACAQMDAgQDBgQEBgMAAAABAgMABBEFEiExQQYTUXEiYY EUMpGhscEHI0LwUmLR4RUzY3KS8SRDU//EABsBAAIDAQEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIDAQQFBgAH/8QALhEAAgEDAgQDBwUAAAAAAAAAAAECAwQREiEFEzFBIlFhBlJ xkaGx0RQVMjND/9oADAMBAAIRAxEAPwDtUUSoPhUD2FS4xWiFiOQF ua3K57mpBijO1Q3KyMg8ogHIz7VDdSXIu4UiIEbH4jjNWldXzt YH2Newe1J7Cv/ABGlK ELwI4UsY1PsZFBpY/h54he3m/4DeytswWtWLenJT9SPrTL/ErYPCN22OTJED/5rXMbXRtY1S7t5dGt3aeJldZeiIwPUtRKSPRpuSaO6Wzh0zjBq cmgC6kYdsUjILgBfM8sFhkjnHy/vFbXGoKrbZryKJjkqCccYyTj9/ypUqkcvA6nb1MLKDmR6itJJFjUs5CgdycUDs9ZsZUxCwdkGZHY dPb37Co7y9tpw8UkasJF LPUf70DqpxymNVrPVpaZau/EFhACBPubplEZgPcgVatruEWYuZJcRHnzH4BpJm8M2E1zHcxzS MqZJhLcN179ev6Uv8AirWbu5MdmHkijgAiAJweBycfOs 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[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Is he very sad? Does he sit at windows peering wistfully at the freedom beyond his prison?

Have you considered teaching him to walk on a lead? You'll need to get a proper harness, of course.

[Maravilloso Marvo]

For walking the cat I mean, not for Monty resolving his self hate issues.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Bertie had a good go at a magpie recently.

[Pat Vegas]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

[Berni]

http://www.catwheelcompany.com/

[Berni]

And - obviously - a lifetime of sexual frustration.

[Monty91]

He's certainly got a better quality of life than when he lived in a cage for about half a year at the charity we got him from. And probably before that too when he was a stray in - wait for it - south London, the poor ****.

I would love to take him outside, and have looked into leads/harnesses, but the girlfriend has vetoed it as she thinks it could open a pandora's box :-(

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

*I'm thinking of the poonany here.

[Monty91]

[Berni]

no-one else would ever know. :-(

Now I'm sad for the cat lady. :cry:

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

It's none of my business, of course. I'm just interested. We have this tiny insight into your domestic arrangements and I'd like to add some flesh to the bones.

[Berni]

[Pat Vegas]

[Luis Anaconda]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

She's a martyr to the minge, b.

[Monty91]

For further insight I can tell you that I'm currently sat on my sofa, topless, with a KFC milkshake infront of me, The Hairy Bikers on the television and an overweight cat on its back asleep next to me.

[Berni]

maimed small creatures in an act of compassion. Can't say I miss it much.

[Pat Vegas]

a Gp's waiting room hiding behind a newspaper like a spy and complaining to the receptionist not to say her name out loud.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

What were you doing in KFC in the middle of the afternoon?

Does your flat sport a lot of **** in the soft furnishings arena?

[Berni]

I was listening to Caitlin Moran's book the other day. She seems sound on pube politics to me. You would disagree.

[Supermac1976]

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3oys7wzgR1qb978l.gif
http://www.pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/queenoftheorphansyo.png

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

She used to be amusing. Now she grits my ****.

[Berni]

[Monty91]

eaten there. In any case, I'm currently reading the book Eating Animals and am considering becoming a vegetarian (I'm not really, but it does get you thinking about the moral relativism involved in eating flesh).

I can't see any **** furnishings from my current vantage point but from memory alone I can't vouch for the bedroom.

[Berni]

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

I do so enjoy our little chats.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

Le Carré (for it is he) makes rather a good job of it, actually.

[Berni]

but not another. Or start imposing human values on what we do to animals.

From a strict, animal perspective, there is no moral contradiction involved in eating flesh.

[Berni]

I've gone off Le Carre since he stopped being secret. And I never liked anything he did as much as his Smiley books anyway.

[Sir Charlie of Nicholas]

He's quite amusing in interview, I rather like him. Obviously nothing was going to measure up to the Smiley stuff. What could?

I've also just started the PD James Inspector Dalgliesh series, because Jayston reads those. I really don't care about the content, it's just having his voice wittering at me :cloud9:

[Monty91]

to satisfy our hunger, but uncool with, for example, f**king animals if we are horny, despite both simply being the satiating of human desires.

[Berni]

there are perfectly good humans to do it with.

To me, the problem with bestiality is not what's being done to the animal, it's what's wrong with the human being who's doing it. That element doesn't come into play with eating meat, so it's a poor analogy.