Monty, you are being rather extreme as far as your examples of

[Paul Vaessen's moment of glory]

fantastic, yet not too intelligent (at all) footballers. I mean - gazza and Rooney! Beckham isn'tstupid at all actually, as you well know. Who was that utter idiot who lied that hos granny had died and went off to aprty in the USA, but got caught? Steven Ireland?

[Slim Pickens]

The sequence of events IIRC:

His girlfriend had a miscarraige. He said that his maternal grandmother had died to get out of an Irish squad that was playing away. She was then found alive and well. He then said it was his paternal grandmother who was duly found alive also. He then went to ground before divulging the real story.

[Paul Vaessen's moment of glory]