I've decided to support Arsene once again. It will be much like all the drama and doomed romance of

[Paul Vaessen's moment of glory]

the Fuhrerbunker in 1945 I guess.

[Nicosia Gooner]

[Ashberto]

"Mein fuhrer, Fabregas has defected to Barcelona and Nasri & Clichy to Manchester City"

Arsene: "Traitors! Never mind. I still have van Persie and Song"

Staff eye each other nervously

Goebels: (cough) "Erm, mein fuhrer, reports indicate that van Persie is on his way to Man Utd and Song too is off to Barcelona"

Arsene: "The SCUM! Vermin! That f**king Dutch skunk was NOTHING before I made him who he is today. And Song was going backwards before my masterstroke of loaning him to Charlton! At least I still have Walcott and Song. I have been admiring Andy Carroll for some time now. He is too expensive, but I have sourced a big lad from the French league that we can lump the ball up to. And also I have a masterplan. A secret weapon. I shall play Gervinho up front and Ramsey on the wing. We will be unbeatable!"