Arsenal: "Hi, this is Arsenal. Would you be interested in a hundred million sponds for Monsieur Soft Roll?
Monaco: "No thanks. We'd want more than that."
Arsenal: "Right. In that case we would like to officially table an offer of a hundred million for him "
Arsene: "I guess this proves that we have been actively chasing top, top quality. Who needs a Director of Football?"
"Scoring a goal is better than sex" - Whoever said that was sticking it to the wrong woman