Big strapping lad like you? See it as a challnge, peter!
I started again from scratch at the age of 40. It was the making of me. Concentrated the mind, you know. I spent the next 10 years a money-making machine!
It fried my brains, mind. Now I'm little better than a vegetable.
Nobody seems to be remotely interested in the idea that I gave her my word on this when we bought the house. It was my word. It came with no strings attached, regardless of outcome or who did what to whom. I gave the same word to her mother who gave us the deposit.
To me the very idea is unthinkable. It is one thing to be spiteful and unpleasant with emotions. Extending that to a financial commitment is just plain wrong. THe only justification is revenge and extracting a pound of flesh.
Well, I for one respect your decision to be true to your word.
Whether she deserves it is another matter. Could have been a kind of Stockholm Syndrome going on, if she was as bad as you say. Presumably you loved her once, which is when you made your promise. At least you were aware enough not to marry her.
Does she deserve it?