Talking of snobby spastic, I'm going for lunch tomorrow with several friends and

[Sir C]

Just offer to pay more on the split.

I wouldn't be in danger of sounding a little condescending?

[Ash]

I wouldn't be in danger of sounding a little condescending?

I think it is fairest to give them the option of whether they want to buy half your dinner or not. If they have a problem with that option than .. um ... that's their problem.

It might just encourage them to join you in top-end choices then everyone's happy.

[Luis Anaconda]

I wouldn't be in danger of sounding a little condescending?

a cheery spirit of 'fúck you' is the only polite way to do it.

Or suggest when the bill comes that everyone just pays for what they had and the waiter can go to everyone separately. They would love that