Everyone is on my case about not giving her a penny from the house.Originally Posted by IUFG
I find this hugely depressing.
Everyone is on my case about not giving her a penny from the house.
I find this hugely depressing.
Just giove her the house. You're a man, you're strong. You can fight and toil and get another house. She is but a weak and feeble woman. What does she know from houses and how to get them?
Try to act with fairness in this matter and you will learn to love yourself.
*******s to that. I gave a commitment and I intend to honour it, regardless of what the other party chooses to do.
Big strapping lad like you? See it as a challnge, peter!
I started again from scratch at the age of 40. It was the making of me. Concentrated the mind, you know. I spent the next 10 years a money-making machine!
It fried my brains, mind. Now I'm little better than a vegetable.
The challenge is getting her out of my life for good. That is going to be hard enough.Big strapping lad like you? See it as a challnge, peter!
I started again from scratch at the age of 40. It was the making of me. Concentrated the mind, you know. I spent the next 10 years a money-making machine!
It fried my brains, mind. Now I'm little better than a vegetable.
Just as I wouldnt be able to live with myself for going back on my word, I wouldnt be able to cope with giving her the whole thing. That would piss me off for the rest of my life.
I find this strange as well, she is certainly entitled to a %, what that is needs sorting out.
Good luck, horrible thing to be going through, feel your pain
Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar
Nobody seems to be remotely interested in the idea that I gave her my word on this when we bought the house. It was my word. It came with no strings attached, regardless of outcome or who did what to whom. I gave the same word to her mother who gave us the deposit.
To me the very idea is unthinkable. It is one thing to be spiteful and unpleasant with emotions. Extending that to a financial commitment is just plain wrong. THe only justification is revenge and extracting a pound of flesh.
Well, I for one respect your decision to be true to your word.
Whether she deserves it is another matter. Could have been a kind of Stockholm Syndrome going on, if she was as bad as you say. Presumably you loved her once, which is when you made your promise. At least you were aware enough not to marry her.
Does she deserve it?
There were periods where we were happy but she has got steadily worse over the last few years, largely because she does absolutely nothing. She is bored out of her mind every day because she let herself become completely dependent on me.
But my word wasnt based on what anyone deserved. I specifically said it remained the deal whatever happened and however angry I might be with her.
It has to be said, she isnt normal. She suffers from an undiagnosed personality disorder and this hugely affects her behaviour. She isnt just horrible, its deeper than that.
Her behaviour has been appalling and she is now horribly lonely and a bit helpless as a result. she is also having to come to terms with the fact that this is all her fault. she deserves all of that, no question, and I hope it leads to her trying to sort herself out. It wont
she doesnt deserve to be chucked out of her home and left with nothing. And her mother certainly doesn't deserve to see her daughter conned out of her inheritance by a vengeful ex partner who gave his word he would never do that, under any circumstances.
She has a mental illness so deserves treating fairly like anyone else with an illness... there is every chance that she can't even help how she is and until she gets the correct help she will continue heading the way she is.There were periods where we were happy but she has got steadily worse over the last few years, largely because she does absolutely nothing. She is bored out of her mind every day because she let herself become completely dependent on me.
But my word wasnt based on what anyone deserved. I specifically said it remained the deal whatever happened and however angry I might be with her.
It has to be said, she isnt normal. She suffers from an undiagnosed personality disorder and this hugely affects her behaviour. She isnt just horrible, its deeper than that.
Her behaviour has been appalling and she is now horribly lonely and a bit helpless as a result. she is also having to come to terms with the fact that this is all her fault. she deserves all of that, no question, and I hope it leads to her trying to sort herself out. It wont
she doesnt deserve to be chucked out of her home and left with nothing. And her mother certainly doesn't deserve to see her daughter conned out of her inheritance by a vengeful ex partner who gave his word he would never do that, under any circumstances.
Sorry to say, i know how hard it is to live with someone who suffers like this (unfortunatley I could be going through all this soon) and like you, i will not leave her empty handed, I have paid ever bill for the last 7 years bur she deserves half the house etc as i see that as fair.
Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar
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