There are a million videos on youtube showing you how to cook every dish

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

The Beeb doesn't give you sexy Vietnamese girls teaching you to make banh mi.

Plus, how very, very dare you! My oeufs en meurette are famous from here to Foots Cray and beyond! The secret is the quality of the wine. Only a heavy Burgundy will do.

But do you have foie gras crutons? Of course you'd use a heavy burgundy - the dish is from there and you're making a sauce.

But you really need to make the crutons by spreading foie gras thickly onto a slice of toast and then cutting into cruton size.

Little nibbles of joy in the midst of the dish.