So. 19 years ago, Dennis scred that goal against Argentina.

[Sir C]

Yes yes we'll come back to that another time. The cleaner?

Christ no, she was a 20 stone unit.

[Pokster]

Always the vulgarity. :sigh:

I am speaking of matters of the heart, of the soul, of the battle 'twixt id and ego. Not shagging.

She was shagging them then

[Burney]

Yes yes we'll come back to that another time. The cleaner?

What sort of a fellow would have sex with his cleaner?

The bloody woman could look like a young Brigitte Bardot, but that wouldn't get rid of the smell of bleach or the knowledge that she cleans various people's lavatories for a living.

No. One must have standards. You can't just go around putting it in every menial.

[Burney]

Christ no, she was a 20 stone unit.

Didn't you tell me that you used to have a turkey who festooned your lawn with avian ejaculate?

[Sir C]

Didn't you tell me that you used to have a turkey who festooned your lawn with avian ejaculate?

Indeed. Cranberry was his name. He had a mate called Banana, but she couldn't satisfy him, so he used to rub himself off on the lawn.

Unusual bird.

[Burney]

Indeed. Cranberry was his name. He had a mate called Banana, but she couldn't satisfy him, so he used to rub himself off on the lawn.

Unusual bird.

I can't imagine wanting to have a turkey around the place. They've always seemed a bit sinister to me. Chickens are one thing, but turkeys are a step too far.

[Sir C]

What sort of a fellow would have sex with his cleaner?

The bloody woman could look like a young Brigitte Bardot, but that wouldn't get rid of the smell of bleach or the knowledge that she cleans various people's lavatories for a living.

No. One must have standards. You can't just go around putting it in every menial.

Oh I don't know. We have a long and rich tradition of the master of the house sliding his hand up the skirt of the maid of all work at breakfast, surely?

[Sir C]

I can't imagine wanting to have a turkey around the place. They've always seemed a bit sinister to me. Chickens are one thing, but turkeys are a step too far.

He was incredibly aggressive and would attack anyone who came near him if he was in a bad mood. Given that he weighted about 5 stone and had a very powerful beak, visitors to the garden were well advised to keep their distance. I suffered many painful bites from the brute.

[Burney]

Oh I don't know. We have a long and rich tradition of the master of the house sliding his hand up the skirt of the maid of all work at breakfast, surely?

Yes, I suppose. And obviously the young master would be required to impregnate the odd housemaid such that she be packed off with a few guineas' hush money, but to me that's a rather different thing to jumping a middle-aged woman who's pushing your hoover around.

[Burney]

He was incredibly aggressive and would attack anyone who came near him if he was in a bad mood. Given that he weighted about 5 stone and had a very powerful beak, visitors to the garden were well advised to keep their distance. I suffered many painful bites from the brute.

Hmmm. I take it the experience is why there aren't turkeys jizzing all over your back paddock today (as it were)?