I know exactly who is to blame for last night.

[Burney]

There's a specific buzz to be had from tea, maan.

No reason why one may not enjoy both tea and coffee.

Oh, this isn't a tea vs. coffee thing. Coffee is simply a medical necessity as far as I'm concerned. This is about my mystification at the idea of being made happy by any non-alcoholic drink.

[Ash]

You like my 'Wainwright's Wànks' idea, don't you, a? Can you not just envision him in his cagoule, shaking his fist and saying 'BAH!' at the latest frustration of his onanistic antics?

I have to say it does capture the Viz 'spirit' somewhat.

Not sure why he doesn't just go to the loo and lock the door though tbh.

[Sir C]

Oh, this isn't a tea vs. coffee thing. Coffee is simply a medical necessity as far as I'm concerned. This is about my mystification at the idea of being made happy by any non-alcoholic drink.

I drank a can of Coke recently, for the first time in years. DO YOU KNOW HOW SWEET THAT STUFF IS?

[Burney]

This is further proof, if such proof were needed, that you were never a smoker. I had a single drag on a Marlboro the other day and it was stunningly delicious.

Oddly, I had no real urge to take another drag.

Maybe you just haven't been off them long enough. How long is it now?

[Sir C]

Maybe you just haven't been off them long enough. How long is it now?

5 months

[Burney]

I drank a can of Coke recently, for the first time in years. DO YOU KNOW HOW SWEET THAT STUFF IS?

I know. Insane, isn't it? But it's not just things like coke. I no longer drink bottled orange juice for the same reason. I had a glass of it in a hotel a while ago and thought I was going to go into diabetic coma.

[Burney]

5 months

Yeah, you can easily still slip at that stage. God knows, I got back into them after eight years. Pretty sure I'll never go back now, though.

[Peter]

5 months

I did this. Gave up for nearly a year and then one day, for no real reason, I had a quick puff on a Marlboro light. Slowly but surely the feeling that I could have 'the oddfag' crept into my head and within two months I was smoking like a chimney again.

[SWv2]

I know exactly who is to blame for last night.

Arsene Wenger.

We have been here before.

[Sir C]

I did this. Gave up for nearly a year and then one day, for no real reason, I had a quick puff on a Marlboro light. Slowly but surely the feeling that I could have 'the oddfag' crept into my head and within two months I was smoking like a chimney again.

But I am no weak-minded socialist type, p. I understand personal responsibility and self-discipline.