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Thread: Monty'sDadWimb: Advice please

  1. #1

    Monty'sDadWimb: Advice please

    Aware there are many others in far worse situations, but would be interested to hear what people would do if they had to deal with my old man and his specific ill-equippedness to confront all of this.

    He lives alone, works fulltime in Central London in a retail store, but simply will not cope with being off work for any length of time, and certainly not if he's required to adopt any significant level of isolation. I don't think a daily walk in the park will be enough to get him through even a few weeks, let alone months.

    He's always teetered on the brink but has had *just* enough going on in his life to compensate for an almost entire lack of hobbies besides Arsenal. But without football, the daily routine of work, or the respite of seeing family (and particularly his grandkids) on weekends, I'm almost certain he won't have enough anchors to keep him from falling into a rapid depression and wherever that then leads.

    Talking to him is futile. He's unable to process this kind of event in the same way as a normal, functioning adult and it's only his sheer ignorance of the situation (he's still maintaining it's all a fuss about nothing) that is keeping the black dog from barking.

    What to do?
    Last edited by Monty92; 03-18-2020 at 09:59 AM.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    Aware there are many others in far worse situations, but would be interested to hear what people would do if they had to deal with my old man and his specific ill-equippedness to confront all of this.

    He lives alone, works fulltime in Central London in a retail store, but simply will not cope with being off work for any length of time, and certainly not if he's required to adopt any significant level of isolation. I don't think a daily walk in the park will be enough to get him through even a few weeks, let alone months.

    He's always teetered on the brink but has had *just* enough going on in his life to compensate for an almost entire lack of hobbies besides Arsenal. But without football, the daily routine of work, or the respite of seeing family (and particularly his grandkids) on weekends, I'm almost certain he won't have enough anchors to keep him from falling into a rapid depression and wherever that then leads.

    Talking to him is futile. He's unable to process this kind of event in the same way as a normal, functioning adult and it's only his sheer ignorance of the situation (he's still maintaining it's all a fuss about nothing) that is keeping the black dog from barking.

    What to do?
    If he works in a retail store there is every chance it will be shut down in the next few days so he won't have much choice.

    Move him in with you and all of you self isolate if he is classed as high risk
    Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Pokster View Post
    If he works in a retail store there is every chance it will be shut down in the next few days so he won't have much choice.

    Move him in with you and all of you self isolate if he is classed as high risk
    Yes, I know he very likely won't be working from next week.

    He's 74, but has a clean bill of health. Are you suggesting self isolating the kids even when the schools reopen?

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    Aware there are many others in far worse situations, but would be interested to hear what people would do if they had to deal with my old man and his specific ill-equippedness to confront all of this.

    He lives alone, works fulltime in Central London in a retail store, but simply will not cope with being off work for any length of time, and certainly not if he's required to adopt any significant level of isolation. I don't think a daily walk in the park will be enough to get him through even a few weeks, let alone months.

    He's always teetered on the brink but has had *just* enough going on in his life to compensate for an almost entire lack of hobbies besides Arsenal. But without football, the daily routine of work, or the respite of seeing family (and particularly his grandkids) on weekends, I'm almost certain he won't have enough anchors to keep him from falling into a rapid depression and wherever that then leads.

    Talking to him is futile. He's unable to process this kind of event in the same way as a normal, functioning adult and it's only his sheer ignorance of the situation (he's still maintaining it's all a fuss about nothing) that is keeping the black dog from barking.

    What to do?
    It's going to take people varying amounts of time to adjust to what is the new reality. At the moment his brain is still operating on the world as it was in February - once he has accepted the world that is in March, he'll be much better equipped to cope.

    In short, give it some time.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty92 View Post
    Yes, I know he very likely won't be working from next week.

    He's 74, but has a clean bill of health. Are you suggesting self isolating the kids even when the schools reopen?
    The schools aren't shut yet, who knows when they re-open! He is your dad, look after him
    Northern Monkey ... who can't upload a bleeding Avatar

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