It's odd that the people of Peterborough would be happy to elect

[Ash]

We'll be leaving after work on Thursday, so with luck Peterborough can be reached by 8 pm - in time for a nice meal and an early night. Plus, bear in mind that we're generally on the road by 6 am, so we reach Ulverston for lunch by 12, into Booths for supplies, arrive cottage (whose location is described as 'high on a fellside above the Duddon Valley, access only really suitable with a 4x4) for about 3.

This is all planned like a military operation.

I'm interested in your breakfast location. Stibbington, you say?

I'll have to consult the one with a working memory for the exact location.

Duddon Valley sounds good. We have some work to do around there.

[Sir C]

I assumed it was one of them things that you angle so it deflects heat to the parts of the grill that would otherwise stay at a lower temperature, so as to ensure even cooking.

But you are telling me it is something different?

'one of them things that you angle'? Have you received a blow to the head? It's a part of the Divide 'N Conquer Flexible Cooking System.

Have you worked out how to get your smoker to a proper temperature yet?

[Monty92]

Yes I have, thank you very much.

Well, not the offset smoker since my initial mishap. but the main grill, which I’ve used for smoking several times now to great acclaim from my guests.

Maybe I need to shove a £70 sheet of ****ing metal in there, you total mug

'one of them things that you angle'? Have you received a blow to the head? It's a part of the Divide 'N Conquer Flexible Cooking System.

Have you worked out how to get your smoker to a proper temperature yet?

[Peter]

Yes, I saw the cathedral. The rest of it was a bit of a shíthole mind.

I must research a good Indian restaurant. When one overnights on a Thursday en route to 't Lakes one eat Indian food, right? That's just how it is.

Why are you stopping on your way to the North? You're not Dick Turpin. Just ****ing go...... it really isnt that far.

Peterborough is absolutely bloody awful.

[Sir C]

Yes I have, thank you very much.

Well, not the offset smoker since my initial mishap. but the main grill, which I’ve used for smoking several times now to great acclaim from my guests.

Maybe I need to shove a £70 sheet of ****ing metal in there, you total mug

Kindly try not to be so extremely rude, lest I find it necessary to visit your ends and slap some manners into your head.

And don't think I didn't notice you trying to slip in a reference to 'guests'. Paying people to bear your company for 10 minutes isn't the same as having guests.

Big-nosed Jesus killer.

[WES]

Yes I have, thank you very much.

Well, not the offset smoker since my initial mishap. but the main grill, which I’ve used for smoking several times now to great acclaim from my guests.

Maybe I need to shove a £70 sheet of ****ing metal in there, you total mug

Can you give me an example of a recipe and how you cooked something on it to great acclaim?

BBQ is BBQ to me, can only be so good but I have yet to spend any amount of money on it and I have never 'smoked' anything.

[Burney]

Why are you stopping on your way to the North? You're not Dick Turpin. Just ****ing go...... it really isnt that far.

Peterborough is absolutely bloody awful.

Home of EMAP and the Posh?

No, it is pretty terrible. I once got talked into buying a very, very ill-advised baggy linen suit in Peterborough.

In my defence, it was the mid-90s, but even so.

[Peter]

Home of EMAP and the Posh?

No, it is pretty terrible. I once got talked into buying a very, very ill-advised baggy linen suit in Peterborough.

In my defence, it was the mid-90s, but even so.

I'm sure we've all tried a linen suit at some point in our lives. Only once though.....

I go to Peterborough fairly regularly. THe first time I went I didnt think it could get any worse but it most certainly has.

[Sir C]

Why are you stopping on your way to the North? You're not Dick Turpin. Just ****ing go...... it really isnt that far.

Peterborough is absolutely bloody awful.

I’m stopping because the timing works if I stop. If I drive straight there and arrive at midnight I’ll have a 16 hour wait to get the key to the house.

Alright?

[Peter]

I’m stopping because the timing works if I stop. If I drive straight there and arrive at midnight I’ll have a 16 hour wait to get the key to the house.

Alright?

Not really, no. Your approach leaves you stranded in Peterborough. Why would anyone do that voluntarily....?

Particularly a gentleman of your disposition....