Double bacon baguette with red I say red sauce
Fúckin 'andsome
'Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing
But different than the day before'
'Met a dwarf that was no good, dressed like Little Red Riding Hood'
'Now you're unemployed, all non-void
Walkin' round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd'
I always knew you were essentially a wrong 'un.
'Going veggie on weekdays'. What are you, 19 years old?
Also, she's made you do this, hasn't she? For shame.
Also, what about poor little Anus. Does she get to have a say in this decision or are you imposing your weirdo diet on the innocent child?
Also: chickpeas, chard and fúcking yoghurt? What's wronmg with a Linda McCartney pretend sausage?
How have you allowed this? You have completely lost control of your woman. She won't be happy, you know. Like dogs, women are happiest when they understand their place in the pack. You should give her a good hiding.*
(*Please don't assault your wife just because I said so.)