That match reminded me how much he irritated me when he played for us. Not the fact that you know, you just know, that when put in a good position to score an important goal, he's going to f*ck up. Virtually every time.

And not the mirror*nt look he so routinely sports that tells you exactly how vain he is.

No, I grew to accept those two things. It's the fact that - apparently - he has more nerve cells than any footballer EVER. The slightest contact and you get the screaming, the writhing around, the look of shear agony that makes you think that death must be near for the poor, mortally wounded mirror*nt. All the while knowing in the back of your mind that in about 2 minutes he'll be back up running around.

He did it again last night and I had to leave the room as he was screaming.