I yearn to be at one with nature and, to this end, have decided to take up wild camping. There is a particular spot up by Angle Tarn at which I am determind to watch the sun set, frying sausages over a wood fire. But I overtake myself. In order to learn the secrets of camping I have purchased some equipment with which I will practise in teh garden: a tent, two sleeping bags and two bed rolls. The total cost of these items? £83.
That's value, that is.
Well, for starters I would point out that discussing such matters is quite remarkably vulgar, and I would rather not.
On the other hand, because I am not a filthy animal, I expect I will move my bowels before leaving the house and then simply demonstrate a little self-control until I return to civilisation.
Forget the sausages
You might have to eat fruit all week to avoid going out in the wild
10 characters? Pile of cund.
Big soft handed Jesse like you wild camping? First rustle in the bushes in the dead of night and your bottom lip will tremble like a leaf in a gale and you'll be on your iPhone demanding the Police come and rescue you.