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Thread: Anyway, on to other matters. To wit, camping.

  1. #1

    Anyway, on to other matters. To wit, camping.

    I yearn to be at one with nature and, to this end, have decided to take up wild camping. There is a particular spot up by Angle Tarn at which I am determind to watch the sun set, frying sausages over a wood fire. But I overtake myself. In order to learn the secrets of camping I have purchased some equipment with which I will practise in teh garden: a tent, two sleeping bags and two bed rolls. The total cost of these items? £83.

    That's value, that is.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    I yearn to be at one with nature and, to this end, have decided to take up wild camping. There is a particular spot up by Angle Tarn at which I am determind to watch the sun set, frying sausages over a wood fire. But I overtake myself. In order to learn the secrets of camping I have purchased some equipment with which I will practise in teh garden: a tent, two sleeping bags and two bed rolls. The total cost of these items? £83.

    That's value, that is.
    Where will you poo?

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    Where will you poo?
    In the lavatory. It's about 10 paces from my garden to the bathroom.

    What the fúck is wrong with you, you twisted bástard?

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    In the lavatory. It's about 10 paces from my garden to the bathroom.

    What the fúck is wrong with you, you twisted bástard?
    I mean when you're in the wild? Will you simply defecate in nature like an animal - or an Indian?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I mean when you're in the wild? Will you simply defecate in nature like an animal - or an Indian?
    in a Pringles tube, then toss it to the roadside.

    Truck drivers, you gotta love 'em.
    “Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.”

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I mean when you're in the wild? Will you simply defecate in nature like an animal - or an Indian?
    Well, for starters I would point out that discussing such matters is quite remarkably vulgar, and I would rather not.

    On the other hand, because I am not a filthy animal, I expect I will move my bowels before leaving the house and then simply demonstrate a little self-control until I return to civilisation.

  7. #7
    Forget the sausages
    You might have to eat fruit all week to avoid going out in the wild
    10 characters? Pile of cund.

  8. #8
    Big soft handed Jesse like you wild camping? First rustle in the bushes in the dead of night and your bottom lip will tremble like a leaf in a gale and you'll be on your iPhone demanding the Police come and rescue you.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Well, for starters I would point out that discussing such matters is quite remarkably vulgar, and I would rather not.

    On the other hand, because I am not a filthy animal, I expect I will move my bowels before leaving the house and then simply demonstrate a little self-control until I return to civilisation.
    Well if you say so. But I’m sure you can appreciate the concern of a friend that a gentleman of your gravity and social status might be discovered squatting behind a bush, coiling down a monstrous turd prior to wiping your arse with a lump of moss.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbert Augustus Chapman View Post
    Big soft handed Jesse like you wild camping? First rustle in the bushes in the dead of night and your bottom lip will tremble like a leaf in a gale and you'll be on your iPhone demanding the Police come and rescue you.
    I have camped across half of east Africa, you silly man.

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