1. Torque steer is as enjoyable as a anal rape.
2. Four wheel drive is excellent under slippery conditions but worse than worthless for enjoayble fast driving.
3. By 'useless' I believe you mean, 'huge fun'?
4. If you can't hang the tail out and steer on the throttle around the average UK roundabout, you're not trying.
5. If you're in the ditch you need more training.
I say these things not to hurt, i, but to educate.
NB: My current fleet includes a Caterham Seven, rear wheel drive car lacking any form of electronic trickery, an Aston Vantage in which I switch the traction control and DSC off if wishing to hustle along in a fun manner, and a Jeep Grand Cherokee for when it snows. The glw has a front wheel drive car, which is just as it should be.