I am a football person unlike you who is simply a casual watcher.
I am a student of the game. A sponge. At some point this weekend I shall also watch Bundesliga football, Spanish football, Italian football. Dutch even.
Now, it will be absolutely fúcking freezing and the language will make your eyes water.
Well I can't actually do it for you c. That wouldn't be be wánking, that would be poofery!
If you mean can I share my techniques with you well, of course. One simply uses the Internet to procure pictures of bare naked ladies, then don one of those knobbly gardening gloves on your favoured hand and start beating. When the little bumps on the gardening glove are new and still slightly pointy, it will be over in a trice.