There is no-one quicker than me to denounce the french as a

[Burney]

Well clearly you, Steve and Luis are all abjectly useless when it comes to anything physical so skiing would not suit. A week of flailing around in the snow like a burning spastic would, I imagine, be rather unpleasant.

No, I'm pretty good at it. It's just balance, after all. The rest is just gravity.

Skiing holidays are for people who can't think of anything more interesting to do with their time.

[Luis Anaconda]

Well clearly you, Steve and Luis are all abjectly useless when it comes to anything physical so skiing would not suit. A week of flailing around in the snow like a burning spastic would, I imagine, be rather unpleasant.

Au contraire, mon ami - twas years of physical activity that ****ed my knees up, making skiing a particularly stupid thing to do

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I restrict my own skiing soujorns to a maximum of three days, late March and never, never never during a school holiday.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Dropping to your knees to impart relief to sailors in the Reeperbahn hardly qualifies as sport L.

[Burney]

I restrict my own skiing soujorns to a maximum of three days, late March and never, never never during a school holiday.

That sounds reasonable. People who go for two weeks, though - surely they must get mind-numbingly bored?

[Burney]

Dropping to your knees to impart relief to sailors in the Reeperbahn hardly qualifies as sport L.

It counts as being a good sport.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Skiing improved greatly, as with most blokes, when the wife finally admitted she was rubbish at it, didn't really enjoy it, and didn't mind it being a quick lads only break.

Not having to go in school holidays transforms the trip completely. No queues and no being totally rinsed (300% increase) on apartment rentals. It's become with me, rather like tearing around on a powerful motorbike, a litmus to indicate that although I am getting old, I am not yet elderly

[Luis Anaconda]

It counts as being a good sport.

Though I have never been to Hamburg in my life

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Though I have never been to Hamburg in my life

Well wherever it is in Deutschland that you hammer your liver and eat the cock then you pernickety, querulous old soak

[Burney]

Though I have never been to Hamburg in my life

Really? I seem to spend half my life in the bloody place.