The chefs who work on hotel omelette stations irritate me

[Burney]

They give themselves airs and graces and act like they're the bóllocks when in fact all they do is cook fùcking eggs.

And I hate the way they try to get you to order an omelette when all you want is fried egg. Cùnts.

[Sir C]

They give themselves airs and graces and act like they're the bóllocks when in fact all they do is cook fùcking eggs.

And I hate the way they try to get you to order an omelette when all you want is fried egg. Cùnts.

AND they fúck about trying to make it look like a perfect sausage shape, meanwhile overcooking the fúcking thing.

On the other hand, it allows one to eat chillies at breakfast, which would be unacceptable if preparing the omelette for yourself.

[Burney]

AND they fúck about trying to make it look like a perfect sausage shape, meanwhile overcooking the fúcking thing.

On the other hand, it allows one to eat chillies at breakfast, which would be unacceptable if preparing the omelette for yourself.

Yes. They are always overcooked, aren't they? You feel like jumping in and telling them to stop.

Actually, what irritates me more are the rubes who talk about the experience in awed tones. "He did me a lovely omelette with ham and cheese - anything I wanted." To hear them, you'd think the cùnt had turned lead into gold.

[Pat Vegas]

They give themselves airs and graces and act like they're the bóllocks when in fact all they do is cook fùcking eggs.

And I hate the way they try to get you to order an omelette when all you want is fried egg. Cùnts.

Hotels the only time I have coffee and orange juice with breakfast.

[Tony C]

Has anyone ever ordered one with all them toppings...never been that brave

[Sir C]

Yes. They are always overcooked, aren't they? You feel like jumping in and telling them to stop.

Actually, what irritates me more are the rubes who talk about the experience in awed tones. "He did me a lovely omelette with ham and cheese - anything I wanted." To hear them, you'd think the cùnt had turned lead into gold.

Did you get to try an oyster omelette while you were in Singapore? They deep-fry the bloody things.

Marvellous.

[Burney]

Did you get to try an oyster omelette while you were in Singapore? They deep-fry the bloody things.

Marvellous.

I didn't. The concept makes me feel a bit queasy, tbh, but I suppose the deep frying would make it less icky

[World's End Stella]

I've never had an omlette that was anything other than bland. Mostly because the egg is always overcooked and an overcooked egg is a horrible thing. Mind you, I've never had a truffled omlette, even after a week in the Dordogne, and I've always thought they might be wonderful.

Fried with a very runny yoke? Yes. Scrambled provided they are cooked very slowly? Yes. Poached with a very runny yoke? Yes.

Omlette? No.

[Sir C]

I didn't. The concept makes me feel a bit queasy, tbh, but I suppose the deep frying would make it less icky

They do look a little like a mess of egg and grollies, but they're good, man.

[Sir C]

I've never had an omlette that was anything other than bland. Mostly because the egg is always overcooked and an overcooked egg is a horrible thing. Mind you, I've never had a truffled omlette, even after a week in the Dordogne, and I've always thought they might be wonderful.

Fried with a very runny yoke? Yes. Scrambled provided they are cooked very slowly? Yes. Poached with a very runny yoke? Yes.

Omlette? No.

I don't even know where to start with this.

Yes I do. A man who claims to have a knowledge of food but has never cooked, or even experienced, a correctly baveuse omelette, should hang his head in shame. He massive, bald, sweaty head.

And as for lacking the ability to spell omelette...