ZZ was a legend, I could watch him all day long and I will have you know I know a lad who plays 5 a side the odd time with ZK and by all accounts it is near impossible to get the ball off the fúcker.
No offence, of course, but if Zidane played for us, he'd be Aaron Ramsey. A hundred or so goals, wasn't it? For the world's best player? An attacking midfielder? We'd be better off with Frank Lampard.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."