How can it be autumn already?

[Ash]

March is definitely spring. I know this because when I was 18 I got on a train one day at the beginning of March and felt the merest glimmer of warmth from a shaft of sunlight touching my face; this seemed to me to confirm the departure of winter and the return of spring. So there.

Port Stanley has fallen? Hurrah!

Yes but that was when you were eighteen. One or two years may have passed since then and the rules seem to have changed. Perhaps the climate has, at least. All the seasons have shifted on a month, basically.