No pictures this time, and I understand why that may disappoint some of you, but I feel last time was my one shot at glory and any more would be gratuitous.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."
Problem is Monty, the absurdly straight line of chest pubes you've contrived to have peeping out from your vest makes you stand out like the proverbial dogs bóllocks. Mezut will now be very concerned for his safety as he has no way of knowing you are a big wet tosser that couldn't knock the fairy off a Christmas cake.