Quote Originally Posted by Peter View Post
Don't get me wrong, I like them. As a rule.

THe problem is that nobody else does apart from a load of ****s in Stoke Newington with small beards. It isn't a great place for them.

Also, we are a bit crowded. One needs space to breathe, trees etc
There should be a question about how to get served in pubs. 'You are at the bar, 20 quid note in hand. There are three other people there who arrived at similar times - how do you ensure you get served most quickly without starting a fight?'

A: When the barman asks 'Who's next?', say 'ME!' and start ordering before anyone can object
B: Look at your various rivals and shrug as if to say you're not sure
C: Point to one of your rivals and say "I think this gentleman/lady was before me"

Only the person answering 'C' would be allowed into the country, as they have learned the dark arts of passive/aggressive Britishness.