It's (sort of) still daylight outside, the birds are singing and it feels like

[Burney]

I always forget, is it you or Berni who has some weird moral objection to w*nking? I think it must be you, as I recall Berni admitting the first thing he did after his ball was lopped off was bash one out to check everything was still in working order.

Something in the term 'lopped off' just made my prostate pucker.

It's defffo Sir C. It probably explains why he's got an iffy prostate. Failed to clear the pipes often enough, I reckon