You know when people say the 70s was a very different time?

[Pat Vegas]

I'll say it's a witch hunt. Can't even wet yer finger on a randy schoolgirl these days c without some army of hirsute lesbian do-gooders hollering peedo!

And this blind woman claiming that Rolfie climaxed! How the feck would she know? - unless she felt the Rolfsters blood gorged glans pulsating on her while it dispensed copious portions of his foul sticky seed all over her white stick.

I'm off to France. Apparently it's quite legal to give a fourteen year old a good roasting over there and a gendarme will barely look up from his plate of moules if the dirty little minx tries to shop you.

Just make sure you have a first aid kit in your car.

[Herbette Chapman - aged 15]

Just make sure you have a first aid kit in your car.

And a breathalyzer and remove anything in your sat nav revealing the whereabouts of speed traps.