This year I determined to ignore the pressure from the patriarchy to GO OUT AND HAVE A GOOD TIME, I decided to stay in with Jools Holland's Hootenany.
What has happened to Bryan Adams' face?
little c**t and everything.
The last time I went out on New Year's Eve, I ended up drinking punch, Jagerbombs and sambucca, which caused me to rampage through the streets of Cheshunt in a state of undress whilst bellowing incoherently.
Never again
And people like Vic Reeves are sitting about.
a melted candle.