Now I know I'm slightly obsessed by The Guardian, but in this piece, the author

[Peter]

ffs then I can't really explain even though it is quite simple. I have a bottle of 6.8 per cent IPA on my desk and I am buggered (oops sorry Mike and Don) if I am going to ruin my mood with this ****

You strike me as the sort of chap who would happily murder children just to win an argument.

This is in no way a slight on you, nor do I mean to suggest that you would happily murder children.