I certainly can't. My wife is away for the week and I seem to have regressed. I have not eaten a meal off a plate since Sunday, preferring to grab handfuls of whatever I find in the fridge, shove them into my mouth and move on.

As I ate alternate handfuls of cold roast pork and cooked, cold cabbage left over from Sunday's dinner on Monday, I wondered if perhaps things had gone a little bit wrong. So last night I cooked. I made popcorn. With a microwave.

I expect I'll be going through people's bins by Friday.